Changing

I never thought I'd say this but sometimes change is good. Like, think back, a year ago I was only just falling madly in love with you-know-who. We were still just good friends, we'd never done anything much questionable. We were a bit too touchy-feely but I was still in the 'of course I'm not trying to be anything more than his friend. Friends can do this... right?' Even if at the same time I was thinking 'If I was his girlfriend I wouldn't want him doing this....' So maybe I wasn't quite as innocent as I meant to be.

Then think how quickly things changed, and changed again. I'm happy to say it's a good thing. It's good things change, and circumstances do and even friendships. It's necessary for growth sometimes.

I am over him now, legitimately. He isn't the same as other boys but he's not a romantic interest for me anymore. He could be, in that what made me like him hasn't changed, but what I need and want now is different and he isn't that anymore.

I'm happy not being mad at/for him anymore and just caring enough to stay friends but no more. I still think of him quite often, whenever I'm walking my mind tends to move to him and I think about what I'm going to blog about and things I want to say and happen and what I want to feel. I usually forget it all when I stop walking but I always feel clearest at that time.

But it's been legit 6 months since I really started blogging after we stopped talking now. It's insane because it feels like yesterday. It feels like nothing in my life has changed since then, even though it totally has. But my friends are all the same, I still sit around and write and tumble and cuddle with my puppies late at night (like right now). I still include him high on my 'If I needed help and didn't know where to go I would ask them" list. Not as high as he used to be probably but that's just because we don't talk as often and even when I feel like he's the one I'd like to talk to when I'm upset, it isn't always an option.

I guess this post was just me thinking, things have finally changed. And he is one of those people that's just completely against change. That just can't deal with it. One of the main reasons he gave me for not wanting to upset status quo. But now I just want to say to him, well, actually change can be awesome. And worthwhile. And too bad for you I learnt that by getting over you, not by getting you.

Or something lol. My brain is weird.