Religion - I'm being deep with this one

I am an athiest.

I feel awful saying that.

I feel... guilty, but I'm not sure who exactly I'm betraying.

Is it myself, or my family, or my upbringing, or is it God?

It's the last one I think, which is the most major paradox. I feel guilty about not believing in God because of God.

But... I don't believe. I find it wrong to think that there is more to this existence than what is real and discoverable and physical and there. I'm not saying we know everything, of course not, and there are mysteries that baffle me, that will continue to amaze me. Consciousness is at the top of this list. How do we think? How do I exist as a person I can identify as Lucy? As myself?

But still, I find it so much more reasonable to believe that God is a creation of humanity, not the other way around. The ideas are too comforting, too terrifying, they give humanity purpose. They give reason to madness, to tragedy. They inspire goodness and punish sins. They give direction. They explain how all has come to be and how it will end.

But now... what has changed in the world that people are now able to reject this?

Technology for one... when evolution was proven without doubt. My Mum (and I took this as my understanding for a number of years), says that the Bible and it's explanations are just metaphor- to explain to people, thousands of years ago, to get a message across. Like the parables, they are stories meant to teach and allow understanding. That the Earth was created in 7 days is not a literal meaning. There is no doubt that the earth and the people on it did evolve over hundreds of millions of years.

On the other hand though, the idea of Heaven and Hell and Judgement Day and whatever else people believe awaits you after death... people used to live by the thought of those things. Think back a few hundred years to the Puritan's, to the Amish, who live their lives living for God, but in fear of how they will be received after death.

I don't have a problem with people living their lives the way they want to, provided they allow their children to be educated sufficiently to make an informed choice about their own life choices, but is makes me sad still. This comes from a place of privilege, of entitlement, of elitism, I know that, but I feel sad that they are, in terms of my beliefs, wasting their lives for an afterlife that does not exist. While I'm sure many, if not all, lead fulfilling lives, they are not without significant restriction.

But to such an extent in the modern day, religion has fallen to the wayside. Perhaps not always in word, politicians still seem to find their religious beliefs incredibly relevant, and a majority of people still consider themselves to hold some form of religious belief (as perhaps I do too, though I have also declared myself an athiest- I don't know really, do I?), how many people hold themselves to their religious beliefs in deed?

Who refrains as well as they can from sinning, who chooses not to sin because they know it is forbidden by the church? How many truly restrict themselves in this way? In my opinion, our society is more hedonistic, pleasure orientated and self serving than ever. People feel entitled, to everything. Our egos are huge, greater than ever. Every child is taught that the world is theirs, that there is nothing they can not accomplish, that they cannot have.

To a large extent, I think religion is seen these days as not only unpopular, but old fashioned, restrictive. People are dropping it, not for lack of belief in God or an afterlife, but because they aren't ready to live by those rules. There are so many ways to reason it out, as I have already done. The Bible is a metaphor, it was written so long ago, it wasn't intended for us an an audience, things have changed etc. To a much greater extent, as time goes on, especially as culture moves away from biblical writing, especially in terms of women, gays, premarital sex, working on Sundays, etc etc, people feel that they can pick and choose what to follow, what to believe.For example, going to Church isn't necessary if you still believe and pray, or sleeping with a loving boyfriend is okay, if you see yourself marrying him.

Personally, my own views are a mix of these things and a belief that everything that happens... just happens. Bad things happen, and it's not fate. All we are is a bunch of atoms and cells, grouped on one hunk of rock falling through space, and we lucked out by being on the one that is by a fraction of a percentage the right distance from the sun to support life. You can consider that a miracle but I don't-- whether we're the only life in the universe or one of an unimaginable number, we only recognise that we are lucky and that we are here, because we are. If we weren't here, we wouldn't have awareness of it, simple as that.

Life is what we make it, any meaning we create comes from us. If there is comfort is believing in more, by all means. But it isn't a fact and no one should be forced to live under the restrictions of anothers unproven beliefs.