Grumble.

My date tomorrow was cancelled. He may have to work and he won't know until almost midday and he has to be back by arvo anyway so yeah... that sucks.

I was actually looking forward to it.

I went shopping and bought new clothes and have decided I'm okay with how I look and have all these pretty clothes to wear and now I can't.

And it's just that it would have been my first ever real date and I wanted it you know? I want that excitement mixed with dread and nervousness and the talking and if I liked him and thought he was cute I could have kissed him and urgh, now what?

We'll have to make a new plan for next week which is totally far away.

I mean, I still have plans for tomorrow. I'm going shopping again with my bffl, then I have basketball at 6:30 and then I'm going out at 9 to club. My friend that's preggers is organising, wants to do something before she really starts showing. She's only just slightly showing now, at 16 weeks.

It'll be fun. I have a few new dresses. I have this pink one, a hand me down from my cousin (who is a saint and just gave me two new bags of clothes tonight) that I could wear but I think I may want to save it for my birthday party. It's short, which isn't normally what suits me. As mum said today, my upper legs are not my best feature. Probably the worst really. Having thick limbs is the worst. I don't look good in anything.

But yeah, this dress is pretty and floaty and light pink. It would look better with blonde hair but I have to make do with brown. It's crazy actually, the blonde is already starting to show through the permanent (3 bottles) of hair dye. My hair is apparently as attached to my blonde hair as everyone I know is to it.

I don't mind. I'm a blonde at heart. Always will be. Blonde really do have more fun.

I do hope this date thing happens... I want it to. Screw everything I said about you-know-who. I think of him when I listen to music. That's it.

He's the past.

This is my future.