There is one massive upside to being a girl. Well, there's heaps actually, I love being one, but a perk of being female is makeup. Not everyone can be pretty or conventionally attractive or have clear skin etc, but girls can have a fair attempt at hiding that. Average girls can make a lot of difference with make up. Make up is good.

It's not all about hiding flaws either, some people love it for the expression it allows them, or the confidence.

But guys don't really get that. Certainly not in the mainstream. So guys with bad skin, I especially feel bad for, because I wouldn't leave the house with like, one major pimple, unless I was wearing makeup, and I've never had bad skin. But they have no choice. A guy that's a 7/10 or whatever, average, can't ever really change their faces. 

Obviously, the other side of the coin is that women are expected to wear makeup always, are judged for not doing so, have to maintain a costly and time wasting routine, unless they want to stick out. Then girls that wear too much get critised, we get told by guys that they like natural looking girls, but they don't mean no makeup, they just mean 'fix that shit up, we don't want to see it, we just want the effects'. So just as much effort is put in to hide it and make it look natural.

But anyway, that was just supposed to be me thinking about the less attractive guys out there. I feel your pain. Or whatever, if you are like 'wtf, stop giving me sympathy I didn't ask for bitch. We aren't all shallow like you.'

Still, shallow or not, being conventionally attractive does have perks of course. Having a fit body and pretty face can make a lot of difference when meeting people and getting dates.

I don't think it matters so much once you're in a relationship, but you'll be culled out a lot more when you don't look attractive at first glance. Of course, people see past flaws once they like/love you, to an extent, but some people will, no matter how much they like you for your personality, would not be able to commit to you if physically, they weren't attracted to you and therefore didn't see any chemistry there. Still, once personality shines through, you can be surprised by the things that turn you on or that you start to like in that other person. People that totally aren't your type all of a sudden are very sexy and you don't realise until the rose coloured glasses come off that you think '...why.'

With you-know-who it was like that. When I first saw him years and years ago and he was the new kid and I wanted some new faces, I thought 'kinda alright' approvingly, then my best friend said 'meh' and I was like 'oh, okay,' and brought my view down a bit to that. He was just a guy then. Then he was a friend, and I knew people that liked him and I was like, 'yeah okay, to each their own, I guess I can see that'.  But then when I got a crush or love or whatever it was, it was intense attraction to everything. From his hair to his eyes to his smile to his laugh to his voice or shape or skin colour or finger nails, anything. Everything. All of it.

Or to my ex boyfriend, who I dated because well, he was a friend and he gave me butterfly type feelings in my stomach. I think more than anything though, those were 'he likes me' butterflies, rather than attraction butterflies. Because I couldn't really stand his touch. I liked what it represented, so I liked being kissed, and when he had his arms around me kinda but not for its own sake. With you-know-who, it wasn't because it meant something (well it was), but it was also because being close and touching him felt like the best thing ever.

Like, that view of him doesn't change completely. I mean, I look at him and it's like seeing two different things. It's just the filter you choose to look through. Past me used the love filter. Now, I can still use that, just, through the memories. If I look at his hands, I could think 'they are special because I remember thinking they were.' It's almost just sentimentality.

Anyways, that is enough of that, that wasn't where I was meaning to go.