I don't like the military.

I have some respect for soldiers, but when I say some, I mean very limited. It almost feels like one of those things that people say because people will judge them if they don't. We learnt about that in psych- I have my exam in a week, I should know the term. Global bias?

Because honestly, I don't respect people that go off to wars to 'protect' us back home by killing and injuring and creating an atmosphere of fear and destruction. Why would I? I gather that I'm supposed to because soldiers are brave and are doing shit that I couldn't and wouldn't do, putting their lives at risk for the overall betterment of the world. It's just, I don't think they really do. Better the world, I mean. I accept that they do put their lives at risk.

I watch NCIS, I love NCIS and I appreciate the respect they always manage to add to the show, but... I don't share the views, though I can understand the 'don't respect the war, but respect the people fighting it' idea.

I think it's the whole hierarchical thing that really gets on my nerves the most. I'm independent and I don't respect authority, as a general rule. It has something to do with a misplaced superiority complex, a high IQ and despite crippling shyness and a high intolerance for adults being disappointed or mad at me (I cry, I can't help it), I have an even higher disregard for people who think they know better than me. 

Maybe they do, maybe they don't, it's not the point. My right to choose, to be informed, to have absolute autonomy over my decisions and rights and actions... those are the nearest and dearest values to my heart. Having people tell me what to do and how to do it, even if it's arbitrary (especially if it's arbitrary) is beyond 'not my idea of a good time' into nightmare zone. If someone tells me to jump, my question is never going to be how high, it's going to be why, and what's your authority over me, and why aren't you jumping too?

The book I'm reading right now (I put it down to write this), is called 'The Soldier's Wife' and is about the husband coming home after 6 months in Afghanistan and the repercussions on the entire family. It's a family drama first and foremost, but the whole Army wife idea (while it squicks me out) interests me enough to make my buy the book. Not because I think it's legit or I'm getting 'I want a military boyfriend' niggles, it's the opposite. I was interested in a book opening a dialogue about how shit it is and the arguments for and against.

I'm going to get on a feminist rant here- this would piss one of my friends off, who's into all this military stuff- I wonder if there's a link there... but the military is like one giant boys club. He tries to tell me this is not true, but I respectfully disagree. He tells me 'my this or that is female' and while of course I'm pleased to hear about some gender diversity in this modern military world, it isn't equal and it won't be for a very long time yet. In lots of countries women aren't allowed in combat, almost never in special ops, all higher ups are male pretty much, as in politics and other old boys clubs, and I just don't respect the culture at all. I tried, but nope.

I get this argument against feminism occasionally, that women can't be conscripted, and that's a form of female privilege. I agree, but while I support no conscription, if there is conscription, I support it for both genders. I'd be hypocritical if I didn't. I mean, I'd fucking burn down the Government if they tried to make me into a soldier and I'd make some conscientious objector/ pacifism argument... though those two things don't seem to go together  (pacifism and burning down things).

It's not that I have absolutely no understanding of how the military works. I read, I read a lot, all the time. No, I don't have military experience- why would I, I hate the military, but I do have knowledge and some idea of how stuff works. Also I did pay quite a bit of attention to my friend when he talks about it. He likes to think I never listen to a word he says but not true. I'm open minded enough to take his views under some form of consideration, even if I have no plans to change my opinion.

With the American election coming up, I spent some time thinking about what I think about government/military relations and basically, in America, not necessarily here, military spending is far out ridiculous. And I understand that it is 'preventative' and that if war breaks out, I'm going to wish I was American where everybody owns a gun and they have a billion tanks and nuclear weapons. But until then, I don't like it. I don't think it solves problems, for every country to be amassing an armada of weapons. If humans destroy the world, it isn't going to be because of global warming, it's going to be nuclear war. I'm pretty keen for that not to happen.