Boysboysboys

Urgh, how do you meet people.

I need to be friends with people that are not friends with everybody else I'm friends with.

Where are the people I know that have friends?

My cousin possibly, I should make her introduce me to hot boys. Or my other cousin who's a year younger, but out of high school, so maybe that wouldn't matter so much.

Who else....

That's kind of it.

Well not really, my ex has made heaps of friends, and Corey has friends and you-know-who has friends... why do no girls I know have friends. You know, the ones that I can actually ask.

Urgh.

Why do I not have friends.

Well I do, but mostly all girls. Netball girls and basketball girls (and some boys but wrong ages), and boot camp girls and Zumba girls and work girls.. hmm. What can I do about this? What's a guy thing I can join and meet boys my age? Not through Tumblr, I love it to death but it's overruled by girls... I need real life things. And it has to be through something that will give me the right kind of guys, you know? Drunk off their faces guys are beyond unappealing.

Next semester, scheduling allowed, I will have to try to involve myself in more sport at uni, when it's free and people just play pick up games. Soccer might be an option. What else...

I do try to involve myself in things  but not the right kinds of things for meeting people of the male variety. Because I do now actually want that.

I mean, I of course maintain that I'm an independent blank woman who don't need no man, but it would be nice to have a person for me again. It's not a selfish thing, like 'I want someone to add to my self esteem and be there for me and talk to me!' etc, it's more that I'm just in the right place for it. I'm ready to be able to schedule someone into my life and take time to think about someone else and that kind of courtship, you know? Plus the sooner I get a boyfriend, the sooner I get to have sexytimes and while before I was like, you know, I'm happy where I am, I'm looking forward to one day getting there with a loving and respectful partner... but now in a much more practical sense, I want someone to grind with cos I have urges and I'm an adult. I mean, obviously, I still want it in the same sense I did before, but now I want it more than emotionally.

I would be a good girlfriend. Honestly I would, if I were given the chance with the right person. I could be sickeningly cute. Well maybe not, I'd still probs tell them that I hate them a lot and that I don't know why I'm dating them but I'd make sure to kiss them afterwards so they knew I didn't mean it. And I'd probably still be immature and step on their foot to get their attention and steal their things to make them chase me but it'd do it with love.

Really, I just want a chance to be in a good relationship. I've had bits and pieces, with my ex, with you-know-who, but not altogether or all at once.

So I'm going to go looking to find that.