Honest or not?

Do you think it's mean to tell someone you love them if you aren't sure it's reciprocated?

Like, putting that pressure on them? Is it okay to do it?

I've been on both sides of this I think, so my opinion is pretty valid as far as my personal experience goes.

No, no it's not mean. If you love someone, tell them. At most, it'll be awkward.

Is creating awkwardness for someone really more important overall than the impact it's going to have on you for telling them? No. I've had a boyfriend tell me he loves me and I responded to that the only way I, in my infinite maturity (sarcasm) could. I ignored it. Or said thanks. Or awkward smiled.

But it never pressured me to say it back.

I'm going to be a bitchy girl now but this is the truth.

When a guy says that to you, a guy that is 100x more devoted to you than you are to them, the power difference is too big and it gives you absolutely all the power and honestly, it's such a turn off. The only upside is the self esteem boost and like, okay, perks of having someone there for you, but it's not really satisfying? My best friend and I were joking about this a few hours ago, about confrontation and how in my psyc stats book there was a study done on gender differences when in a conversation, who interrupts whom. Apparently, in male-female pairs, men interrupt women 97 percent of the time.
And people still believe that this is a post sexism/ post feminist world.
But personally, as my best friend put it, most of the boys I hang around with are pushovers (including ex, who, and I could write a whole entry on this, but gets so incredibly stressed when we debate because I can't stop talking over him- even though its fb chat, that we can't do it) and it's awfulllll.

Well, I mean, no, it's not. People are who they are. It's just... I'm shy and I can't talk well when I'm out with most people. I'm always on the edge in groups, apart from in my actual group, then I'm in the middle. My actual group isn't particularly better than my other friends, but my comfort level is much higher. I can choose what to do and say and wear and talk about and it's nice.

I may have spoken briefly about this when I wrote the entry talking about if guys with gfs are more attractive, but it's not that. I'm using this as an example but what I got from you-know-who, that I didn't get from others... was indifference.

No, that's wrong. I like interest, and he was interested, but not completely. 

To quote the new Taylor Swift song (god I love Taylor Swift), "I guess you didn't care.... and I guess I liked that, and when I fell hard, you took a step back..."

I'm not saying it's healthy but I think there has to be some wiggle room in a relationship/ mutual crush.

Neither person should be going to give in completely to the other one. That's what's exciting. Competition, arguments, for me, that's flirting of the highest order cos that's what attracts me to people. Intelligence, competence and passion for things.

I also think that without something to work towards, especially in the early stages before you get with someone, just makes it more exciting. When you have guys that you know are into you and pretty much would just be with you if you decided to be with them, it's like, I guess I could go there...fun....I guess.

I guess the middle ground of 'would give you the time of day' and 'doesn't follow you around like a puppy dog' is what I like.

Now for the other more lame side of this, the times I've confessed feelings without waiting for them to be there first. Now, I'm not particularly adventurous when it comes to this sort of thing. I hate being the first to admit to feelings. But I've done it and honestly, I didn't have to but I wanted to. It didn't really make things that much weirder and it was honest.

Maybe for him, it put me in the second catagory, the non sexy puppy one, but such is life.

Although, thinking further on this, here's some best friend wisdom for y'all.

Me: I dont know what to do

Bffl: Look, don't tell him anything
say goodnight
 honestly

Me: i didnt mean i was gonna just outright type 'hey, btw, im still rly into you. date me

Bffl: i can bet you anything that he will not want to be with you now
i don't wanna be mean
i love you

Me: okay

Bffl: and hes an idiot for not

but
you need to realise that right now hes cocky
and it freaked out

Me: okay

Bffl: coz he thought it was friendly flirting
he was testing you
now he kinda thinks he knows
don't let him have the upper hand

Me: why does it always have to be a power struggle

Bffl: BECAUSE THATS WHAT IT IS

I'll leave you to ponder on that. Actually, let me know in the comments what you think about this. Is my best friend right? I don't know. In a practical sense I think so, but also it's so annoying to have to be cagey and lie about your feelings to the last person you want to lie to.