Boys with girlfriends

I've always hesitated to do this entry, but I feel like I can do it now without feeling like a totally awful person.

Question: Are guys with girlfriends more attractive?

Answer: Yes.

I'm going to start this entry with a quote. When you-know-who first told me he liked me, and god knows I was already head over heels, I was on some random yahoo answers page. I saved this quote and a bunch of others to read whenever I needed it.

OK, let me explain what you want: You want him to dump his girlfriend and date you. You want to feel special, as if you are better than his old girlfriend. Don't lie!- you would be utterly pleased if he dumped the b*tch right now and knocked on your door and said he was single and wanted you.

Let me explain why that is foolish:

He does NOT like you more than her. He does NOT think you are better than her.

Also, he is NOT only flirting with you on the side. He is banging his girlfriend, and he is hoping that he might be able to hook up with you too. However, even though he wants sexual stuff from you, he doesn't value you as high as his actual girlfriend- or else he would dump her for you, it's that simple! Guys don't have that much of a conscience as girls do, hon- he just simply doesn't like you like that.

Stop being a relationship wrecker and STOP FLIRTING WITH HIM! The other woman is JUST AS BAD as the cheater, if she knows that the guy is in a relationship!

Yeah, so... I knew. I always knew. It was bad and I knew it.

But... my focus isn't cheating exactly right now. It's the girlfriends. Did I like him because he had one? If he'd been single, would I have ever gone there? Was it the fact that he was expressing interest in me while having a girlfriend what made me want him as badly as I did?

My answer... no. It wasn't a forbidden fruit attraction. If ever it made me feel good to know that he wanted me, there were five times it made me feel shit to know that he didn't want me enough.

What's attractive about guys with girlfriends... is knowing that another girl thinks they're boyfriend worthy. It's like a girl seal of approval, in a crazy way. So it doesn't have to be a guy with a girlfriend, it just has to be one that's had a girlfriend successfully, that you've seen and been like 'fuck, he'd actually be great, where is my boyfriend that treats me like that?'. Maybe the 'with a girlfriend' thing is more apparent because it's like, right there. It's not just a hypothetical thing, it's that he's actually right now someone that's a great boyfriend and people like him and want him.

I'm not saying this is what I was thinking, because it's not. This isn't me speaking from experience because personally, I never saw him with his girlfriend -or if i did, it was rare- and the boys I did think 'damn, I want a relationship like that' I wasn't generally attracted to, but that is what I think is generally true.

For me, it was always the worst part of loving him, knowing he had her. It wasn't that I was trying to one-up some girl that I barely knew, or make myself feel vindicated and worthy by being the chosen one. Would it have felt good? I won't deny that, but it wasn't my motivation.

Maybe 'pure' is the wrong word because I agree what I was doing was wrong, but my intentions weren't ever malicious, just selfish. I wanted him and I wanted him to be happy with me. That was pretty much it.