I finally worked it out. When i said i felt like a slut I argued against it because I know it isn't true. I truly believe I was perfectly entitled to kiss that guy the way I did. What regret I have comes from the similar but more personal disappointment of feeling cheap. It is a direct contrast between the first time I made out with someone. Last time.it was what I wanted more than anythinh, it was giving away my heart and all that other sentimental crap but emotionally I felt full. Fulfilled. It is very much how I imagine sex. It could go either way- perfect, feeling happy and secure and wanting to stay and keep feeling that way or ugly and empty and wondering why I'd done it.
That's overdramatic in this case but im sure lots of people do feel like.that and i want to make sure im not one of them...
Also i need to get this renewed crush the fuxk off. I do not even know how or why.
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