Thank you Dream Gods.
I just had... the best dream I can remember. No hyperbole, I actually think it was the best ever.
I think I fell in love. I think I'm AM in love, which is insane because the guy I fell in love with is from dream inside my head. Well, mostly--they do exist, but I barely know them, he was my first ever crush and the boy across the street from me in my childhood. We were in the same class at school.
I haven't seen him since I was 12, except for few months ago I think he was at the table next to me with his girlfriend in the food court at the mall, but I was shy and didn't say hi.
So I know him from facebook and the long ago past but that's it. He was one of those absolutely sickening boyfriends with the "I love you so much baby, forever" status. So I took a teeny bit of amusement when he broke up with his girlfriend.
But this dream! Oh my fucking God, I can't get over it. I'm not recounting it straight away, I woke up like an hour ago (it was a 4 hour nap, its only half past 9pm now) but hopefully I still remember it.
It started 'in character' kind of I suppose. I was bullied vaguely in primary school. Not so much by him, but it was more that people just didn't like me and I took dismissive and rude comments to heart. Not from him, to be clear, he was my favourite boy in my class.
But I was just sitting somewhere, I don't know, I think it was on the basketball court at primary school. I suppose it makes sense that the dream would be partially set there, as it's where I know him from. But I was just there and he, his little sister and my little brother come up with a bunch of friends and all of them swear they don't know me or something, and my brother is 'proof' because he verifies it or something, that no one likes me or I'm a loser or something, it was mean spirited.
But then the others were gone and it was just me, him and his little sister (who I was friends with as a kid, she was my brothers age though). I don't remember what I said to them, but I told them they were fucked up and that was an asshole thing to do. I also remember saying to his sister, 'I always wondered if you'd be one of those girls that became a total slut and I see you did.' Sorry for slutshaming, I obviously wouldn't say it in real life, but I think I know what I meant, which was that kind of stupid, skinny and pretty girl who looks down on everyone and (remember, she's just been apart of his attack on me) is a bitch.
Then she was gone and I was still storming after this guy, because I'm pissed off, he's been a total jerk off but I have something to prove. I don't know what's changed, but I dare him to spent time with me, let me prove him wrong. Why I would do that, I don't know.
For more context here, he is ridiculously good looking. In real life he is and in my dream he was so tall I could barely touch his shoulders. He is also a personal trainer, really into lifting and the gym. So he's really built.
He dared me that if I could swallow down these two small bottles of something I hadn't heard of, he'd hang out with me for the day. They were in these little containers shaped like grenades, round and with a bottleneck top. This changed to more like a tub of cream container but inside was this clear gooey liquid and I knew it was steroid-y stuff. Not illegal or anything, maybe more just like chemical protein powder or something but I was like, no way. Then I went on one of my rants about things sure to rile the other person (like when I try to annoy you-know-who with a deliberately opposing argument to his beliefs on the military- though I do believe it.) So I said a bunch of stuff about how hypocritical it is that gym buffs and health freaks are all the ones that use the chemicals and put all that unnatural crap into their bodies.
Again, I don't remember how we go from dynamic to dynamic but I'd got his attention and we talked without the hostility. Then I said something about his ex girlfriend and he broke down crying and remember, in this dream he's like 8ft tall so I have my arms wrapped around his waist and I'm just hugging him as he cries.
This is how you know it's a dream. Not only am I really bad in real life with crying boys and I know it's really bad and I shouldn't let myself feel this way, I'm not attracted to that at all in guys at all. It turns me off so fast it's ridiculous. It's also sexist. But in the dream it didn't do that and I don't remember if this was explicitly said or not but something like him saying 'I just want to feel like I did before, again." And then we were dancing.
I don't know how to describe it but this keeps coming into my head. Howls Moving Castle. I though it was the shittiest movie of all time, it had no plot or interesting characters, it was a bunch of random crap happening and I really don't understand what people see in it. But that first scene, I vaguely remember the guy taking the girl into the sky and I don't think they were dancing but running/walking or something and that's kind of what this was like. It started as dancing but then it was like flying, he started running and he was so tall and fast and strong that I'd only manage a few quick steps before I'd be swept off my feet and pulled along that way and it was brilliant.
So I dream fell in love.
Sadly I don't remember any more of that storyline. I think there was more but it's gone. *Shrug*
The rest of the dream was weird(er). I was at a party I think, my bffl was high and dancing naked and I was like 'that's super gross, I don't want to see that, put it away." And another feminist friend of mine was 'Don't be hypocritical Lucy.' Because 'just don't look' is my response when guys diss girls for having short skirts or something. Then we were talking about HSC results which came out that day (I was dreaming in real time haha).
The third plotline was the intense action movie one. Me, my ex and you-know-who were running. It was like a hotel. I don't know if we were running to, or running away, or what, but there were lots of stairs and people and elevators (I have a fear of elevators in dreams- probably because last week I dreamed I was in an elevator that snapped and fell a few floors and totally crumpled, trapping me, my dad and brother inside/under. It also landed on a train track which doesn't make much sense logistically but we escaped right before the train came and run over the metal elevator).
There was also this weird bit where I was going iceskating with a bunch of people. Maybe my dream-love and all these cheerleader type girls. Except then it changed, and got weirdly feminist in a down-with-men way. It was this rink full to the brim with black women. And I think it was after some disaster, like Hurricane Katrina or something. So everyone is just like huddling and everyone is basically female, except for a few male babies and I dont know what happened to teh menz. I knew at the time but it's gone now... but there was some rhetoric about women being better and only they could deal with the situation. Or something. I don't even.
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To keep my dream posts from getting to extensive, without limitiing my ability to report on them, I'm just going to talk about the latest here.
It was basically Hunger Games (again- though I don't remember if I wrote about the last time, and this was a very different set up). I would be put in the arena- like, not a stadium but a huge, kilometres of land and different terrain and in the first two rounds I had a partnet. To win, we only had to kill the others, not each other. So the girl I was with, Theresa, is super smart and so I followed her lead and we did the same thing both of the first days. We'd hike, so far, up cliffs and though forests. It's a terrain that is sort of made up, but I know where I got it from, like, the local area. Then by the end of the day, we'd have our guns and our weapons and somehow we always came out on top. Then we'd go home, train some more with our group, I'd get instruction from the other boys- people I know, friends etc, but I don't remember which ones. Then I'd look at the scoreboard, see how everyone else was faring, I'd sleep, wake up in the morning, think for ages and plan my nutritious breakfast that would have to last me all day and do it again.
But on the third day, there would be only one winner. And I was freaking out about my strategy, like how could I do what we normally did, when Theresa would probably do that, or catch me. But how could I not go with the tried and true method, this was high stakes, I needed to do what I knew. And then I was running late to get to the arena- it started at 8 and I'd forgotten my keys and it was a 30 minute drive and I was stressing. Before I left, all these Yr 12 girls (The year below me at high school) started playing what I vaguely think was the Last Post. It was something like, you're probs gonna die and we're sad about it. So I hugged a bunch of them.
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