So I did two exercise classes today, strength and tone and boxing. Strength and Tone was a 45 minute class using dumbells and kettlebells as well as lots of push ups and other strength moves. Since it was my first time doing that class, I found some of the moves weird and hard, also because I clearly need to get stronger and my endurance with weights isn't very high. I'm not worthless, but need improvement.

My friend Jess who I do with with, or to be more accurate, I accompany her occasionally while she goes often, is a lot better than me so I need to remedy that :P It was really hard honestly but good. I don't mind being pushed. Or in any case, I know I need it and it's good for me so I try to welcome it.

The second class I begged Jess to stay for so I wouldn't be alone- boxing. I really liked it. Punching is hard and my form needs work but it's great for aggression and it's so much fun using knees and elbows. I feel both graceful and powerful :) Obviously I finished it sweaty as fuck, with my hair wet from root to tip. But it was great, I felt good after, a bit sore, but I convinced myself to shower straightaway and Mum got me new shampoo that smells nice and facewash, which I don't really need because I generally have clear-ish skin but I want to live without the last few pimples, also the more I sweat, the worst my skin is likely to get. Most people's skin gets better when being healthy cos less junk food. Mine gets worse cos increased exercise. Such is life though. I'm in one of those lotions and potions mood, where I have lots of body washes and creams etc, which exfoliate and wash and make me smell nice and soft.

Self esteem is holding well, I'm really pleased with how I feel lately about myself. I know that I'm a total exhibitionist, duh, my room is full of soft lighting, fairy lights and wall length mirrors so it's good when I look and it's pleasing and I'm like, yep that's me... sexy as fuck, I'd totally bang me, awesome.

I know it's almost just 100% perspective, rather than actual changes, but when I can accept my body and actually like it, it's great. I think it's a matter of focusing on just the overall picture as well as finding bits that I do like, rather that thinking about the negatives. Plus the hair just makes me feel different, like a new person.

If my self representation in my head is blonde and white skinned with long hair, and yet in the mirror I'm short haired, with a tan and brown hair, it's easy to see that as a different person which might make it easier to accept. But also I'm sure there are some physical changes which I am also appreciating. Sam, my Zumba instructor said to me on Tuesday- I haven't seen her since last month when I finished boot camp- that I'd lost weight and was looking slimmer. Hooray! That's the best thing in the world to be told.

There's a meme on Tumblr that's like 'The three words a woman wants to hear from a man-- you lost weight.' Haha. It is very nice to hear. In a month or two, hopefully people will notice :)