Note: I'm not apologizing for this entry and I'm not going to lie. Half the time I do but I just want to write how it was.

So I saw Les Mis yesterday, it was okay. I thought it was brilliantly filmed and the singing was incredible, the acting was great, only the storyline was so slow and I found it not thrilling at all. I spent most of the second half like 'what the fuck'. Starting from the daughter and guy having their Romeo and Juliet romance, then the father being like 'This boy loves my daughter and says she loves him back, though clearly stating they met last night, I better risk my life saving him'. And then the fact that the kid doesn't die after bad wounds that would have been infected as fuck after hours spent in the sewers, traveling around in shit, head to toe. Then the soldier dude killing himself. And just the Frankenstein type obsession he had with the prisoner turned businessman/mayor turned runaway, those always end badly and I knew everyone was going to die.

My favourite bits were the first scene, with the LOOK DOWN, LOOK DOWN and everything with Anne Hathaway was brilliant. I also liked Eponie (sp?), though her waist was so small, I was shocked, like how do her organs fit? I liked how the look down bit kept getting reprised, first when the poor were saying it to the rich, look down out of your carriages and see, and then again another time.

I went to the movie with a bunch of friends. We organised it about a week ago, well, I didn't organise, I was just like cool, yep. Then I was working all day and was sleepy and nearly didn't go. I was napping beforehand and was like, urgh, must I? Even though Les Mis was my idea so I figured it'd be rude not to. I didn't actually expect many people to be there, but there was 6 of us. You know who even came, which was beyond unexpected into what-the-fuck territory. He never comes to anything, so while it was lovely to see him, I kind of like warning. I wouldn't have worn a round-the-house sundress and neglected makeup. It's not that I want him, it's just I like him to think... well....nice things when he sees me.

When we went in, seating worked out really well. I thought it made sense, but it was my ex and his gf on the end, then you know who and I, then two other friends who usually pair up. Every time he'd get bored he'd start elbowing me and I'd elbow back, and we'd be just sitting there, forcing our elbows into each other with massive pressure until I gave up cos he was giving me bruises lol. And I like being the one he whispers comments to, when he leans over and whispers into my ear. It's not a new feeling, but he does it so well it always feels sensationally intimate.

I don't love him now, but he if was single, I would. I know I would, in a heart beat. Because when I wasn't paying full attention to the movie I was thinking about our arms which were touching side by side on the armrest and thinking if we were dating, I could take his hand and play with his palm and all this other lame Lucy-version-romantic stuff that I don't ever think of or want but when I'm with him, I do. There were also other thoughts which were less PG but we were in a dark theatre, so what can you do.

So to reiterate, I don't love him, I didn't touch him, there is nothing between us except friends. He's an annoying prat who shook popcorn and salt all over my lap and when I complained, did it again in my hair. He also pressed cold bottles of lemonade against my bare shoulder and pushes me when he gets bored.

I'm going away next week, same as I do every year but it reminds me that last January, I couldn't go half an hour without thinking of him. I remember during HSC and formal time, I'd consider it an achievement if I made it til half past 6am without thinking about him.

Now, maybe not a whole day, but I think of most of my friends in some capacity every day. He's mostly not important now.