I finally made up with my ex. Friendship wise anyway, no chance of any other kind of reconciliation. Our past is distant, distant, distant. Most people find it hard to picture us together, even though it actually happened. I find it hard lol.

But we'v been in a fight, which I've talked about in previous entries. I was very certain actually that I didn't want to 'make up' this time, but I guess I did it anyway. It seemed to be the right decision. I don't have to be responsible for him or change too much. But it'll lessen the hostilities.

He told me where his anger and aggression towards me had come from and his perspective and I gave him mine back. I think there are still issues and there is definitely unhealthy parts of our relationship. I don't always treat him properly and he frustrates the bejeebus out of me but as he said, I'm pretty much the closest friend he has and I'm pretty well comfortable with him. Idk if it's cos we dated or just because we used to talk a lot. Same diff I guess. But why bother making new friends when old friends took that long to make and trust, that I already can tell pretty secret stuff to without thinking about it?

In conclusion, since it's not like he told me anything that new- I already pretty much accepted that he wants my body (duh, doesn't everyone?), so that doesn't change anything, it just means I have to be more vigilant when it comes to what I wear and I can't use him as a tester when I want to feel pretty, I'll have to save that for people I want to impress and just wear jeans and trackies around him. No more mini skirts. Honestly though, it's easier to wear my more 'sexy' kinds of clothes around boys that think im attractive, cos I can feel more confident then. as opposed to boys I actually want to attract.

Urgh, i don't know what I'm doing lately. I go from hating what I look like (like today), to really liking it. It's all perspective, day to day. Today is not a good day and I'm still feeling sad about the puppies.