Hypocrisy

I have to write about something... suppose it's guilty conscience.

Back in February I wrote two posts about a guy I know, who'd written posts about me.

And it's interesting, i suppose you could say, because though at first they didn't bother me, after a few months, when I reread some of it, while in the middle of a big feminist kick (when am I not?) but, I took it out in a major way on this guy and the things he'd written.

I don't deny that some of what I said I still believe, but I was way harsher than he deserved... I did get carried away. it was one thing for me to critically talk about the things he'd said, but I made it personal and that was bitchy.

I suppose it was because I stopped really thinking about it being him, and more just taking the words and the paragraphs out of context, into the world of English Texts, for critical analysis and breaking down with a feminist reading, with a heck of a lot of anger to back it up.

I mean, I liked how I'd written it. Sexuality is one of my favourite topics and feminism combined with that is like, awesome fun. But the way I portrayed the situation was more to emphasis the feminist issues rather than appropriately describe the reality of the situation and the person who'd written it.

Considering how I went off at him in the blog entries (and I was really quite vicious), it doesn't make a lot of sense that I was quite happy to be friends again with them and start chatting with them, but I was. What needs to be understood is that the writer became much more of a symbol than just himself. When I wrote the entries, I was like 'saying this makes you a grade A asshole", but I want to make it clear  I really stopped directing this straight at the blogger guy, and just at people who speak and do things like that in general. He was an example, one I blew up slightly out of context for the purposes of my argument.

I do agree with the theory of "nice guy syndrome' and will argue furiously against ideas like 'the douche bag theory', but it was wrong of me to talk about them using someone I know as an example. I didn't mean to demonize him.

As readers of this blog, I just need to clarify that- that those entries (or any entries really, I'm sure you-know-who could make a case that I do the exact same thing to him) are my opinions and my thoughts and feelings. I try to keep people I know away from reading my blog, because that's not what it's for... I'm not trying to gossip or bad mouth my friends or people I know, I'm just trying to be honest and uncensored in my own little place on this internet.

But what I'm saying isn't gospel truth. It's biased as fuck, and I can be over dramatic, bitchy and since this is generally written when I'm hurt or angry, it tends to misrepresent reality at times.

I mean, I personally think its quite accurate, but this is my representation and as readers of this blog, remember that please :)