Getting back into it

Okay, time to remotivate myself.

Bitchy Mia is sometimes good there. As well as that, I have Hugh who wants to run with me- which is really good because a) I've been trying to think of something we could do together because we don't hang out on our own much at all, and b) it's really good motivation to get better.

I can do it too, maybe not straight away but I'll run a few k's today, before going to Mia's, and now Easter is over, I've finished baking and no more buffet dinners, I can keep tracking calories and go back to losing consistently, rather than staying the same as I have this week. Walking to the gym isn't that good for exercise, walking is easy but not exactly burning much but then it's body attack which kills. But hopefully in a good way.

30 Day Shred I'll do tonight, I think it's time to go to the next level, but I'm intimidated so I'll stay one more night on Level 1. I'll get right back on with everything tonight, because I've stopped some stuff this week due to not being bothered. I'm hopeful tonight will be different but I'll be pushing myself hard today with running and gym and Shred so we'll see.

As for everything else Mia just told me, yes, my BMI is overweight. I know it's a crappy scale and doesn't really mean much, it's a straight up height to weight ratio, and very unreliable, but it is true, it's weight I would like to shift and at 26, it'll take me a month or more to get to normal which is 24.

Yes, 60kg is my ultimate goal weight but it's not like I'm really thinking that i need to lose almost 15kg, I don't really. I'll be healthy under 70 really. Mid 60's would be good, it's just a matter of getting into the habits of eating right and exercising right that are most important to me. A few pieces of chocolate here and there, or an extra spoonful of honey, or a second piece of banana cake are screwing me up so I need to get off that.

I just got a bit bored with my diet this week after Easter and I believe now that I'm back calorie counting after the weekend and weighing myself I will be much more motivated. Good numbers motivate me whereas bad ones just make me want to stop. And I know exactly how to make myself get lower numbers.

H-E-A-L-T-H-Y E-AT-I-N-G.

It's one thing for Megan to tell me 'it's just one night' but she also tells me things like 'urgh, this thigh gap is so weird, I don't like it.' The way she can eat and the way I can are just polar opposites so I can't listen to her about this stuff, I have to think about myself and my own body.

Okay, I'll go get ready to go running now. I can do this shit, just gotta get up and go :)

ALSO, like I said, I'm not doing this in any way for you-know-who. Honestly I'm not. Do I want to look pretty around him? Yes, but it's not a factor in this. As last post said, the longer this goes on, the less of a factor in my life he becomes. It's sad but such is life.