So I was reading a friends blog (shout out cos they now know I still read it :P) and they were talking about my blog and my weight loss stuff.
Idk, those posts I think would be pretty boring to anyone that's not me lol. They're kind of helpful though to document so that's mainly what they are but he said something that I suppose I want to correct.
I do think I'm overweight because by definition, I'm 3kg overweight. It's not much and it's not a big deal but I am. I suppose calling myself fat is different, because fat means unattractive and big and yucky and okay, sometimes I think this about myself but not really. I have things I would like to change and improve- I want to become so much fitter and healthier and more capable of physical feats and yeah, I want to be able to look good in dresses and look smokin' in underwear. But I don't hate myself now. I love myself. I love who I am and my body is pretty cool too. I like my skin and my hair and my eyes and all different parts of me.
I might feel resentful towards my thighs sometimes but I appreciate them and all they do for me none the less. I still check myself out in the mirror and am generally partially confident with what i see. I don't doubt that some people even find me attractive. A bunch of boys have all called me pretty and beautiful and stunning and all those sorts of words. My family certainly goes all out to build my self esteem.
But weight loss is about more than that, it's about making me feel comfortable with me and honestly, losing weight would help with that. I'm being healthy and smart about it I think and doing it slowly. I'm making friends through tumblr by doing it and it's given me great new opportunities to meet up with friends.
Megan even said she was proud of me and I've inspired her to start getting fit as well. That makes me feel so good :)
I guess I just wanted to say that this is a positive experience for me, not a negative one. I've never felt so proud of myself for the achievements I'm making. Just think, a month ago I could barely run 3 minutes without wanting to stop. Tomorrow I'm attempting to run 8km voluntarily. In September, my tumblr friend Lucy and I could be running together in a 9km race. This week alone I've run over 20km and by tomorrow afternoon it could be almost 30km.
I've discovered I like muesli today- something I've never tried before and it's delicious! Through beginning to lose weight, I've learnt so much. I've discovered oats, and I'm addicted. I've started cooking almost all my own meals and am developing such good habits. I'm becoming more accountable for myself and I'm gaining a lot of pleasure from what I'm doing. Sure, the limiting of chocolate is lame, but it makes me appreciate it a lot more now.
A quote I'm trying to recall now was something like 'weight loss- I've never felt so much of a failure and a success at the same time." The actual quote was much better but the idea was that weight loss is all about the small things, a good run one day, a small loss, a small gain, a plateau, guilt after a binge, a day of clean eating and solid exercise etc etc. It empowers you.
Hey Lucy :) Just wanna clarify that I know there are a whole bunch of aspects to your weight loss and the motivation surrounding your efforts. The only thing I was talking about in my blog was the way a person can look at themselves when they think a certain way, how our perspective is affected by internal bias, stuff like that. I know you're losing weight reasons beyond simply being thinner or more attractive or whatever else, and I'm sure anyone else reading knows that too. I support and admire your commitment to improving yourself as a whole -- I couldn't do what you're doing, no way :P
ReplyDeleteAs for the articles, while I can only speak for myself, I like reading them because I find it interesting to see your progress. I'd much rather read this than initiate a conversation with you where I have nothing interesting to say in return; that's wasting your time :P