skiiiiiiing

Well I've been busy lately.

I got back from a ski trip with my friends last night, which was fantastic. We had great times. I got to eat junk food, hang out with people I like, improve my skiing and spend the evenings playing Canasta. Even though I didn't win either game. Such bad luck. Only me and one other guy there are serious about card games, so we taught everyone else to play Canasta using 4 decks. It's a complicated game to learn, though it's easy enough once you get the idea. But not only was I sitting to the left of the other good player, so was at a disadvantage there, I won the first 3 rounds of both games, but then lost the 4th and 5th rounds, so I kept coming 2nd. Oh, the woes of my life.


I don't know why I just told you all that, but I'm kind of competitive. With cards. Or anything really.


It was a great trip though. It was with a completely different group than my normal Schoolies crew. This was more, my best friend and her boyfriend, and a bunch of other friends I see less often but still really enjoy being around comfortably. Actually, last year when I was still working out what I was doing about schoolies, I was considering leaving early so I could do both. In the end though, I wasn't comfortable with the camping and the drinking so much as I was with my own group, even though it meant ditching my bffl. Plus the Austin factor tipped it.

So it was lovely to spend some time with all of them. It was 4 girls and 3 guys. It would have been even but sadly the last person, the only one that would have actually crossed over from my normal group, is injured and is out for the ski season this year. But it'll be an annual thing most likely so there is always next time. It is disappointing for him though, cos skiing is awesome. I was disappointed with him not coming cos we do get along really well at ski trip. It's weird but we don't have that much time that we spend just us. Like, it's more than just being friends through proximity, but I like to try to spend time individually with people. He's dating one of my best friends so being friends with him is so easily uncomplicated.

The other guys on the trip were funnily enough, either my best friends boyfriend, good friends boyfriend or sort-of-best-friend-but-now-in-reduced-capacity's ex-boyfriend. Complicated huh? Not really, but it meant that I certainly wasn't going on the trip with guys in mind. It's not like I've sworn off guys or whatever, but it is kinda new to not really have anyone in mind at all. I don't really remember the last time it really happened, I generally have at least one person I can kinda draw on.

But it's a good thing. Obviously I've never been the type of person to need that. Generally it only ever makes a difference in that it makes things more exciting. But I don't know, it sort of happened anyway. Me, another girl and my friends ex-boyfriend were sharing a room. It was couples in one room, and singles in the other. He and I had the bottom bunks and the other girl had the bunk above me.

He started dating my best friend in Year 9, so it's weird now that they're broken up, because I just still think of them as a package deal. They were that kind of couple you know, that always does everything together. I guess that played a large role in why she's my reduced capacity friend now. We just weren't spending much time together anymore and by Year 12 we just weren't as bosom buddies anymore. It's sad and I do want to reconnect with her but yeah. But anyway, as far as I'm concerned really, even though she broke up with him and she's said before that she doesn't care if I wanted to go with him, it'd just be so weird. Like, how would you forget that he was once the guy sleeping with your best friend?

So yeah, we sort of had... I don't even know how to describe it. It was very low key. Maybe just some chemistry for a few days. He'd smack me on the ass with his ski pole when we were skiing and I'd tease him about stuff. On the 2nd and 3rd night we stayed up talking for awhile. I don't know if we'd ever really done that much. Not about anything that earth shattering though we did get into a discussion about virginity and 'purity' which I did rip into him about. Feminist Lucy is not impressed with sexism, no matter who is talking.

On the third night, after we'd all stopped talking and were just going to sleep, like an hour or something after lights out, he was randomly like 'hey Luce, wanna make out?' I was half asleep and just like "um no. You dated my best friend, it'd be weird..." Or something like that. It was one of those awkward situations because I swear that happened but it was so weird and out of the blue that in the morning I started doubting myself and being like '...did that actually happen?" But I'm sure it did. I don't think he was weird about it the next day and my bffl was just like 'he was probs joking, that's just him' but idk, it felt like if I'd of said 'lolk, come into my bunk', my evening would have been very different but either way, I said no.

I'm not hooking up with people, I'm just not. It's not that part of me isn't tempted when these offers pop up, but i don't know. Part of it is that I don't want to be 'that girl.' I don't know why I don't, apart from society telling me it'd make me a slut. I think it'd make me feel guilty, which is mostly just internalised sexism, but either way, I feel like I'd regret doing it more than I'd regret not doing it. Also, the obvious he dated my best friend for like 2.5 years.. He is forever associated with her. It's partly because most people I know are still on girlfriend number one, all long term things, so they just belong together. So it's impossible to imagine boys outside their relationships, not that I'd want to.

But yeah, that was my guy interactions at ski trip. The others were all lovely as well. It was an absolutely positive trip. I had a great time and it was relaxing without all the guy drama. Proves you don't need it and can still go away and have a great time :)

PS. Also I just have to say this cos it makes me lol so hard. In my stats for this blog, I can see what people search to find it, if they use Google. Some of the things, I swear....

Examples include 'how to forget a stupid hookup', 'why do girls play hard to get? its bullshit' 'nice guy syndrome misogyny', 'treating girls with respect bullshit' and 'she likes the attention chauvinist' 

It's funny.