Beck n call

I thought I'd just spend one quick entry talking about he-who-must-not-be-named. Or he-who-I-do-an-incredibly-shitty-job-at-not-naming-but-am-going-to-attempt-anyway-for-this-entry.

Obviously we don't have much going on these days. We don't really talk or see each other, our friendship fizzled out when all the drama stopped. Well, not immediately, but more... now that I don't care. I can't really explain it but such is life. I don't mean we aren't friends, our group is full of people who interact a lot less than him and I, but he gets held up to higher standards.

It makes me happy to know that I don't care too much. Like, yesterday he wanted my help with something that would have taken half my day. Upside, I'd of spent the day with him, done a good thing for a friend etc, downside, awkwardness getting there, major inconvenience and feeling stupid for going out of my way to help him, more than I would for a regular person. Plus it would probably have been boring. So I said no... 50% because I didn't want to and couldn't be bothered to think of a way to do it ie get there, ask for details, have an actual conversation, and 50% because, well, I'm not at his beck and call and don't like feeling that I am. So I just texted him and was like, sorry no.

Then today he messages me 'hey, urgent, when are you free next week, I need a partner for something etc.' and I think, okay, what. But because I'm now slower and less eager to respond (ie 2 minutes and didn't immediately say 'sure, what's up?') he found someone else first. I'm not disappointed, I still have no idea what he was going on about, he didn't have the courtesy to explain, just 'actually, don't worry, don't need you now.' But it's weird.

Is it worth it not to be at his beck and call and to feel like I don't care about him?

I'm a bad person probably but oh my god, yes. Yes it is.

I love him and all (platonically) but he needs it out of his head that I just do whatever he asks. Because I really really don't.

Edit: Lol, it happened again today. Third day in a row. Same as last time, I was only mildly helpful and then he found someone else. I feel satisfied.

Also with you-know-who's best friend, I had to spend time with him because he was hanging around... when he came up to me in lecture, starting tearing me down for not taking notes, saying like 'oh, well if you aren't going to take notes, why even bother being here?' when I was actually listening, though we hadn't even started doing anything apart from reading the course outline yet, which I told him, then told him to shut his mouth. He went away.

Then he was there when I was meeting with my bffl's, so I had to tolerate him. Then he was there when I was with my friend getting the bus home. Then he was there when we were waiting at the bus stop for another bus, though he was home.

Then because I do netball training at the park right near his house, I was going to text him to see if he wanted to play with my dogs while I coached, because I brought them with me and I know he loves my dogs. But then I was just like '... no, why am I being nice to him, I don't want to bother.' So I didn't tell him. It's not that it makes me mean, just not go-out-of-my-way-to-be-kind, the same attitude I've taken to you-know-who.