complex

My best friend.

Mia is awesome, she totally is. I hang out with her more than anyone and talk to her the most and go to her first and she gets me. She's my bffl.

She's also totally skinny and according to the boys, pretty hot. We're doing the diet/weight loss thing together which is great, she's great to do it with because she pushes me to be better.

I'm not sure if it's a good thing but we are very different when it comes to weight loss. She's already thin so it's not the same for her. I'm not saying she doesn't have her own goals and motivations and reasons but she's got about half of what I have to lose. I'm about 6kg heavier and 5 inches shorter. She's tall. I think our goal weights are about the same though, around 60kg. In a 'let's get there and then go from there.' type way.

She's better at diet than me, though I'm getting better and we're both calorie counting so she isn't doing anything I can't/aren't doing. I'm better at exercise and do more of it. I'm just more sporty generally and my goals include fitness much higher on the list than she has.

Still, diet is 70% of weightloss so she has the advantage there.

I have it though because I have more to lose. We haven't been going long enough to really tell yet but I've lost more so far and should be able to decrease the gap a bit.

I'm not jealous of her or have any negative feelings towards her but I sort of have a thing... a resolution I guess, that I won't ever go for guys that think she's more attractive than me. At least not ones where I know that's true.

My ex did... but not by much. We had a stupid ranking system, of all the girls in our year (we had da boys one too), and my ex's had her 2nd out of 60 and me 5th. I was cool with that. You-know-who never did it so I'll never know haha, but since he and Mia never got on, I just assumed that he liked me more... and when he said to me in March or whatever 'next to her, you're just another blonde in the crowd...'. Omg, I'm really never going to be able to forget he said that. It's not that it isn't true, she's very pretty and I'm not super hot. But of all people for him to call prettier than me, my best friend, a girl he personally can't stand. Rolls eyes. It stung cos I thought I could count on his vote at least.

It's his fault, he gave me this complex. Stupid you-know-who, giving me all these inferiority issues with other girls.