1. Lost netball tonight. Played GA so probably at least somewhat my fault. I shot really great but didn't perform that well when breaking/running fast enough.
2. Saw Sarah and the bub. Such a beautiful baby, I just want to kiss him all over his face all the time. Brings out so many cuddly, maternal instincts.
3. Uni back today! Took copious notes for the bffl, nearly killed myself in Econ lecture since it was like remedial Year 7 maths. For two hours. My laptop died. I used all my Candy Crush lives. I was starving. I actually started to wonder if I was finally experiencing the mythical female 'cramps' experience, but no, I really was just fricken hungry. (disappointment).
4. Realised I talk to other people a lot in my head. I hold way to many conversations to be normal. Half of my consciousness exists in the thought patterns of conversations between me and close friends as I provide to them the running commentary that I would like to if they were actually there. Like 'oh, I just saw so and so, you haven't seen them in ages have you, I bet you would totally say this if I told you that-- why do I even remember that, well I don't know, I keep good tabs on people I know, sue me it's not weird, you know, I've been thinking--'
5. Contrary to what I expected (and this isn't a new observation, but one I've been meaning to make, it that I know porn is supposed to objectify women and hold people to unrealistic standards or whatnot, but I actually find porn does the opposite. It's the opposite to dramatic movie sex scenes, which are beautiful and can't be lived up to. Everyone can fuck, and all the girls look kind of ugly and have stomach rolls and everything jiggles and looks hella awkward. Like, that is the opposite of making me insecure. Everybody looks sweaty, gross and undignified, which I really did not expect. I mean, I had zero idea of what it was going to look like (which is why I eventually bit the bullet and looked) and tbh nothing looked how I'd imagined but I found it made me less concerned, not more.
6. So I get to netball and Sarah's boyfriend is like 'so I heard you had a panic attack on the slopes which sure, is true, I did...twice. But it was a little unexpected that he and Sarah both new about it. Darn facebook and gossipy friends. Because it wasn't like that. I did freak, but it wasn't actual fear, I wasn't that scared (well, maybe the second one) but the first wasn't fear at all, it was just a weird reaction to shock and a sudden thunk as I hit a tree. The one the next day wouldn't have happened without the first already taken place ad kind of putting me in a mindset where I expected it. Whatever.
7. So the bffl gets back very soon. I think she is on the 30 hour trip back home now but I won't see her for 2 days due to her sleeping the day she gets back while I'm at uni/work. I'll be happy for her to be back obviously, but I didn't really miss her or anything. We still left messages etc and I was so busy it hardly occurred to me to miss her. It will be nice to see her :) And have her back in the country. There is something disconcerting knowing someone you love is a million miles away on the other side of the world.
8. My other best friend is back from her weekend away as well. I'm hoping she has some news for me, I'm waiting very patiently but I've been quite excited all week. We do dinner on Tuesday nights, I think that is our thing, so I will see her tomorrow for cheap Chinese food or some other type of cheap Tuesday night meal and we will talk. Both of us will have a lot to see I think since it's been over a week an a half and two holidays in between.
9. My sleeping state is fucked. I went to bed at 6pm and woke at 3am. It's now midnight so that is 21 hours awake thus far and I'm bushed. Will sleep once I think of a 10th thing to write about.
10. I was running late to netball (of course), got down to the garage, realised I'd left the car with 2km to empty in the tank and since I was so late, had no time to go to the servo so just had to wing it. Thankfully I made it and have now filled up. I really don't know why I leave it so close, yolo and all that. I'm a thrill seeker. Also, both me and my girls won netball on Saturday and my girls won 5/8 games on Sunday at the Gala day. Hurrah!
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