~~ This is an old post I found in my drafts. Maybe I planned to add more to it but I've forgotten now so have at it ~~

I don't feel like there's anything wrong with one night stands. Jenna Marbles has this one video, basically full to the brim of slut shaming. I was browsing old Laci Green Sex+ videos for the funzies, and I came across her reply to it. I liked it at the time

Because Jenna basically just says that, to quote John Mayer, 'your body is a wonderland and it's up to you where it's VIP or a themepark where kids get in for free on Sundays.'

It's just an extension of the 'dirty' imagery that goes along with slutshaming. Having sex doesn't make you dirty, it just doesn't. There isn't a store of old semen that just gets stuck up there from all the other dudes you dicked, which kind of eliminates all the 'which drink would you rather, the one that's unopened or the one that some random already drank from?' metaphors.

Not only is that metaphor so off base but this isn't used as a defence against male virginity. Strictly about controlling the sexual choices of women.

Slut shaming is about respect. If you only respect women who have sex the way you think is acceptable, you do not respect women because your respect is something to be earned and/or taken away once a woman acts in a way you don't agree with.

In my view, I have done two things with, according to varying people's personal definitions would make me a slut.

1) Made out and unashamedly flirted for 6 months with a guy with a girlfriend.

2) Had a one night stand with a hottie-with-a-body that resulted from nothing more than attraction to his kissing style, his endearing way of finding me sexy, and the fact that he was staying in a hotel a five minute walk from both the club and my house.

Do I regret either of these things, even a little bit?

Not. At. All. I would be lying through my teeth if I said I did, because the second half of year 12 was the best time I had at school over the entire 13 year period and damn, but I really like boys that can kiss well.

As far as the first one goes, I think it makes me less of a slut and more of a bad person. But I don't pretend to be perfect, it made me happy and I think it made me happier than it made his girlfriend sad... (and in the end, me sadder than her as well). Besides, I don't think it's wrong to be selfish when it comes to being happy and sometimes you have to go for things.

That's an old argument really. The fact is that it's never bothered me and I don't feel guilty now for not feeling guilty then. I can accept judgement from other people for attempted boyfriend stealing I suppose, though not if it comes without equal or more heavily weighted judgement for the boyfriend because if the judgement is about defending the girlfriend, it wasn't me who made a commitment to her, that was his end of it. Girls aren't guilty of 'seducing' faithful guys, if they come, they do it willingly and make their own choices, simple as that.

And the second one. The amount of dicks I decide I want to have in me, on me, or around me and the amount of people I have naked fun with, doesn't define anything about who I am or the type of girl I am. Sex isn't something to be ashamed of or feel guilty about. It's just nice.

And if I don't happen to know or love or see again the people I fuck, that shouldn't matter in someone else's judgement of me. And it's not their place to decide how risky my decisions are, how much I value myself, or if the reason I do it is because I'm sad or lonely. Like, if those are the only emotions you can imagine as precursors to sex, I feel just as sorry for you as you feel for me.

Sex being about love is a society driven idea. It's not any more natural or moral to only be with people you love. I respect people who wait, I respect people who don't. I'd totally like to be with someone I love, it's a main goal of mine. But even if it wasn't, regardless of your opinion on my choices, I expect respect.