Santana and Brittany are back baby. It feels like 2011 again. You should see my Tumblr. Not only is my username no longer cas-wants-the-d-ean, but youmakemybodywakeup (dottumblrdotcom), but I totally changed my theme and my background and header and content. I lost 2 followers overnight but gained 3 so do not give a fuck.
For the next 5 days, it's brittana round the clock.
After that my soul will be in shreds and I'll die the bitter sadness of a broken heart. But today we party for tomorrow we die! The brittana fandom is on fire right now, you don't even know.
Add that to a declining interest in destiel and supernatual and voila. I'm back to the life ruiner that is glee.
Almost two years ago, I wrote this post, and now I'm reading other stories that author wrote. I think I've talked about this briefly before, how every author, every series, every TV universe seems to have it's own rules? Mostly they are just a slight bend from reality, because everyone sees the world just a little differently and their perspective shines through in their writing. Through the details that get lingered over, the importance they hold on singular words or actions, whether parents are vital or irrelevent to teenage protagonists, how deeply people can feel, how life happens, what really matters to people, what is unforgivable, how relationships change and evolve.
Those things aren't universe constants. But when you find authors that nearly match you, that look from the same perspective that you do, you don't let that go. Because they can give you something really special that you can identify yourself and gain inspiration from. I've been reading a fic like that, where Santana and Brittany are living together in New York and they're broken up at this point and it's weird and awkward and there is so much longing and love there. Santana makes Brittany packed lunch every day for college and they have two hour breakfasts at 6am after all night shifts working at a bar and their apartment is full of photos of them goofing off around the city and they are supporting themselves and living and it's so aspirational.
And then I remember that I am in the middle of that right now. Derp. Exeter isn't NYC, but I am living with my best friend (though it's new and beautiful and aw, I've never called Jen that before) and while I'm not in love with her cos we are totes plutonic, we are at the bust-into-each-others-rooms-at-all-hours stage, sometimes with wine, for D&M's and we do discuss spooning on the regular. Tomorrow night we are partners for quiz night and we decided to dress up as Google maps.
I need to appreciate where I am and what I'm doing with my life. We are adorable and yes, I'm not happy in all aspects on my life, particularly mental health with regards to eating and whatever, but things are good and never better and I am so happy with where I am and Jen and my friends and that's why I want to stay.
I get homesick occasionally, late at night. Last time after writing Megan a tearful letter, I ripped a old letter to you-know-who out of the back of my notebook, got some matches and burnt it to ashes. That was impressive. As a total pyro, that made me feel much better. Plus I got it on film so I can go back and watch it whenever I want.
What was the point of this entry again? No idea. Just that this author explains relationships in a way that makes me ache deep in my core with rightness. She gets life, the way I do. It's exciting, that.
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