1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.

My favourite movie is Titanic. I watched it for the first time when I was about twelve, it was on TV. I was at my Dad's and it must have been a Saturday night, because Friday nights were strictly Friday Night Football. I didn't watch it right from the beginning, so I didn't know about any of the modern day story line, with old Rose and the diamond, but I really did love the movie. I was young however, and it's a long movie so when she was in the water, but before she'd got the whistle, I went to bed and just got Dad to tell me how it ended. Don't judge me, the ads went for ages. It was Winter I think, because we were both super cold after watching but Dad got me my super thick Harry Potter blanket and tucked me in super tight :)

2: Talk about your first kiss.

Well, I was nine, it was with my best friend. We were at my house after school, in my room. I don't know how I got talked into it but we got in my bed and shucked our clothes, and practiced kissing. I just remember the feel of her tongue running along my teeth. Not sexy haha. Neither was her sister (also in the room, also naked I think) yelling down the stairs to my Mum what we were doing.

3: Talk about the person you've had the most intense romantic feelings for.

Well, he's an occasional asshole, occasional friend. He's a law student, he has a little brother, his parents are divorced. Talking to him makes me tongue tied lately. He has a nice smile. He's so fucking funny. He has this innate confidence and he just doesn't care about popularity or being anyone except who he is. He likes pancakes and the military. He has a thing for blonde girls and our friends always mix up the name of his girlfriend with his previous girlfriend, much to his dismay.

4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far.

Giving up every time I start getting healthy.

5: Talk about the best birthday you've had.
My 16th was pretty rad. I had my first proper relationship kiss, I got to sleep next to both my boyfriend and (this is bad, but I was more excited by it) you-know-who. It was just a fun night with my friends.

6: Talk about the worst birthday you've had.

I don't know if I've had a bad birthday, and I don't actually remember this myself, but it probably did happen. Apparently at my sleepover in year 7, one of my best friends made me cry by telling me off for how shitty I was treating my boyfriend. I have a habit of treating my boyfs badly clearly, but I was 12, I get a free pass that time.

7: Talk about your biggest insecurity.
My body obviously. I know it wouldn't make me a better person if I was skinny, but I'd be happier, I know I would.

8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.
Just generally, I'm proud that I'm balancing everything I'm doing right now, I have sport and work and uni and social life and rest and it's all happening but I'm happy with it and what I'm doing. I shouldn't be looking to add more but I am.

9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.
I don't really have things like that I like.

10: Talk about the biggest fight you've ever had.
I can't remember any real big major fights. One of my friends and I didn't speak for 6 months in year 8 or 9 though, and I cried bitter tears when she invited everyone but me to her birthday. 4 months later when we'd made up, I nearly didn't invite her back, but on the day of, I called her up and asked her to come to my party.

11: Talk about the best dream you've ever had.
Well, last night I dreamed I was running my hands all over Jarad Padalecki's bare chest and abs, though oddly enough, below the waist he wasn't exactly male and I was actually happy about it. It was confusing.

12: Talk about the worst dream you've ever had.

I'm almost certain I wrote about it at the time, but I was on a train, and you-know-who was there. He sat across for me and listed every single insecurity of mine, perfectly in character, how much better his girlfriend was than me, how much he enjoys fucking her, it was just everything. Even things that didn't bother me in real life, in this dream, everything cut. I hate feeling pathetic.

13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.
Well, I imagine it happening on holidays somewhere, in a bed too small and clothes coming off too fast. I imagine lots of kissing and lots of awkward conversation like 'does that feel alright?' 'that hurts, ow' and 'am I in?' But I also imagine feeling quite overwhelmed and pleased.

14: Talk about a vacation.

Well, every year I go to Mollymook for a week. It's one of my favourite weeks of the year, with all my family. It involves lots of swimming, beaching it, hot milo and DVD's and DnM's with my cuz.

15: Talk about the time you were most content in life.

Year 12 was my favourite time, when I was 17 everything was pretty great and I was just happy with myself, with my friends, with school etc. I thought I was pretty, my self esteem was moderately high, I was keeping on top of all my work, I had a lot of friends and social life was positive. I had a boyfriend for awhile and then I had you-know-who, so I was excited and up, up, up most of the time. Every day was anticipated, and I looked forward to going to school and seeing everyone.

16: Talk about the best party you've ever been to.

I can't think of one that stands out. I'm awkward at parties, I like hanging out with my friends at parties where we get to dress up but don't have to stress about judgement or sitting around being bored.

17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with.

There's a girl I work with I'd like to be closer to. I'm seeing her on Sunday for the first time out of work, I don't know how it will go, I'm nervous about making conversation for at least 4 hours but she's quite popular and confident so hopefully she can take up some of the slack!

18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school.

In Year 6, me and my best friend Lily and I worked together to make a news program, I was the presenter, and basically we did about 3 segments, a mix of us interviewing each other as different characters. Then we did ads as well, I remember wearing a flower thing on my face and singing 'You are my sunshine' as an ad for a gardening store.

19: Talk about something that happened in middle school.

In Year 8 my best friend Jess and I used to scheme to go to each others house's after school. We'd walk very sloooowly on a Monday, because my bus was always late on Monday's so we'd tell our parents Jess missed her bus and had to come to mine. I get the feeling no parent was fooled.

20: Talk about something that happened in high school.

As an accelerant, I had free periods in year 10 that no one else had, only other maths accelerants. We'd play chess and mahjong and just hang out chatting (when we weren't doing maths). Some of the best times were had in D13, our maths room.
 
21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.

Well, one of my best bros (totally capital G Gay) liked me in Year 10. We talked a lot at the time, but I wasn't interesed in him, I just have a weakness for guys that talk to me a lot. He left a love letter in my bag, asked me to Formal etc, I didn't really addressed it which was mean of me. I avoided it for as long as I could, with all my friends inventing excuses to leave the conversation so we'd be alone so I could give him them 'look, I'm just not into you' speech. He  he got over it, I never stopped being his friend, and we are still bros now.

22: Talk about your worst fear.

I suppose I don't ever want to not be good enough. I don't need to be good enough for everyone but I want to be good enough at my job, for a guy I like, for my friends, I want to be in the top 20%. That's my goal, to make my life better than average (by my standards) and my fear is that it won't be.

23: Talk about a time someone turned you down.

Apart from you know who, I don't think I ever really have been? And you know who, to be honest, he didn't really turn me down. When I told him I liked him, he told me he liked me back. When I kissed him, he kissed me back. I never asked for a relationship, apart from implied, and he never had to say no.

24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.

"I don't want to be loved, it is to be preferred that I desire." Whenever I get told I'm someone's best friend, that I'm high on the list, that always means a lot to me.

25: Talk about an ex-best friend.

I have a lot of best friends. I gain them easily for some reason, and I almost never lose them. But this is the story of the one that got away :) In Year 7, my first high school best friend, she was pretty out there, swearing, older boyfriend etc. We got along well for some reason. We drifted by Year 9 I suppose, as our friends changed a bit. Now, she's into drugs, pretty hardcore from what I've heard, and sleeps with people in exchange for drugs. She works at Maccas and doesn't go to Uni. It was one of those inevitable things really. I tried to help her when I was younger but eventually, people just take their own path.

26: Talk about things you do when you're sick.

Shower a lot, leave tissues everywhere, eat a lot of 2 minute noodles and  junk food. Be pathetically grumpy and useless.

27: Talk about your favorite part of someone else's body.

Maybe torsos? Like, waists and hips and backs and stomachs, I just love all that, it' where I look when I think of beautiful bodies.

28: Talk about your fetishes.

Rape fantasy. But not the pain kind.

29: Talk about what turns you on.

Confidence without being aloof. It grinds my gears (not in the good way) when I think (real or imagined) that someone thinks they're better than me.

30: Talk about what turns you off.

Ignorance, intolerance, lack of respect for academics. Unconfidence, lack of drive, lack of initative.

31: Talk about what you think death is like.

Just nothing, there is no afterlife, or soul or whatnot. Just, unawareness. Life is being aware, death is not.

32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.

After my parents divorced, the first place we moved (with Mum) was a townhouse. We were number 5, of 10, and the layout meant that we were the farthest back, down a long driveway since it was two rows. We had a courtyard, and beyond that we had a creek. When we moved in, it was brand new so the creak was just little, and the slopes down so it was just black tarp with holes cut for little plants to grow. Over the 3 or so years we lived there, the plants grew to totally cover the tarp until it wasn't hardly possible to climb down to the creek in case of spiders etc. It was a pretty cool thing though, how much it grew. We also used to sneak next door through a hole in the fence into next doors massive backyard. The creek was the epitome of 'down the bottom of the garden' and they had an old wooden bridge which was very fairy tale. The other side had a blackberry bush that we used to pick. Not that I ate blackberries but that's not the point, is it?

33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.

Eat, blog, read fanfic, tumblr etc.

34: Talk about the worst physical pain you've endured.

I am such a wimp, but I'm cautious (and lucky) so I don't have any real stories to tell here. When I jumped off a concrete ledge over plants and my knee drove into my mouth on the landing, that was probably the worst.

35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.

Being a wimp about talking to people, eating so much junk.

36: Talk about your guilty pleasures.

Reality TV like Biggest Loser or 16 and Pregnant.
 
37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.

One of my best friends (not one I've mentioned thus far). She was special. And still is, but she got a boyfriend soon after I started liking her and they've been going out 4 years now :)

38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.

You know who: Too many to count but Story of Us, by Taylor Swift, What if, by Safety Suit, or Over my Head by The Fray.

39: Talk about things you wish you'd known earlier.

School work, I always find 6 months after I finish a course I know the material so much better than I did at the time I did the exam.

40: Talk about the end of something in your life.

The end of high school. I didn't really care at the time, I was in a very strong place with the people I cared about (that didn't last) and everyone else I didn't care about really. I think if I could do it again, i would have been sadder and tried to make the end of it more memorable.