So I've been dreaming a lot. Again.

It comes in fits and bursts, I don't dream for a week or two and then every night, it's like a new feature film doctor who. Totally technicolour, complete plot line, the works. And they are all creepy as fuck.

This weeks fun topics included cannibalism, and not just like a reference to, I ate somebody. I snapped off someones toe, ate it, and thought it tasted like potato. Why did I do this? BECAUSE I MURDERED THEM AND THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD WAY TO GET RID OF EVIDENCE. The fuck.

Then there was the fun night that was more James Bond crossed with being dropped into a video game level. For context, my dreams have a lot of common tropes- things I'm 'dream scared of', as in, they don't freak me out in real life but pop up consistently in my nightmares such as empty hotels, malls, shopping centres, elevators. This location was like an airport hotel. It was a public place but it was many stories and very self contained. Anyway, I had to get up to the top and my friend/s was aaround as well, but I hadn't found them yet. I wanted to meet up and do it together but as I spotted her, I was distracted by a guy talking to me about maths or engineering or something, when he saw the plans I had laying out on the table in the food court area. I got distracted (dream distracted, which is impossible to avoid) and when I looked up, the elevator had arrived and they had got in.

Then I remembered the scary part. The villian, the person I needed to stop-- was a shapeshifter, a murderer who chose their victims in the elevator, than got them alone and killed them. Always chose girls and always chose virgins. She disguised herself as an old woman. A sixth sense told me that the woman entering that elevator with my friend was her. I flipped out, ran over but the elevator was closed, I was helpless. It was a double elevator deal, so although I couldn't get in there and help my friend, I thought at least I could get to the top and stop what I could, so without thinking, I dashed into the other elevator with a bunch of people, desperate to get to the top. The door closes and that's when it dawned on me. I was wrong, that old lady was not the shape shifter after all, the shape shifter... she was in that elevator and she was focusing on me. I started blabbing on about how my boyfriend and I loved to bang, how just that morning we'd been banging, but she just smiled and gave me the bull-fucking-shit look, and I was freaking the fuck out and I started screaming and flipping out and she tried to grab me and I fought her and the elevator opened and security got her and took her away.

I was relieved for about 5 minutes before I realised she was a shape shifter and nobody knew that but me and she was evil and trying to kill me. So I found the closest guard and demanded they tell me how she was being held. The young woman tried to reassure me, that she was in a locked room but when I asked if there as a guard with her, someone watching-- she said no, that wasn't necessary, they'd see her if she tried to walk out and then I panicked and then the guard grabbed to to 'reassure me' and then I realised holy fuck, the guard is the old woman, she's the shape shifter, and then she gets wolverine claws and she's about to thrust them up in a way that I think would have murdered my vagina, but I manage to grab a pencil or screw driver or something and stab it into her skull. Multiple times. Literally over and over, from all angles, I didn't stop until I woke up, 30 or so stabs later. Her head had the consistency of an orange, so my imagination didn't really factor in the existence of the skull bone but it was still disturbing. I dream this why? Am I really that concerned about my virginity that I think people are going to murder me over it?

Then there was the dream that ended with you know who trying to throw me off the edge of the rooftop of a tall building before he turned into my evil best friend whose life I saved as the storm that was brewing turned into a hurricane? That was a weird one. I was trying to join this new rock climbing club that my best friend and her boyfriend were already a part of, and I really wanted to be a part of it, because I felt belonging and such, but I had to be hazed and I had to eat all these things and I didn't want to because one of them was raw fish that meowed and looked like a cat and it was still alive and I just couldnt kill it, and in the end I refused to kill it, even though I knew it'd be bad for my chances of getting in the club, but they killed it for me and then I all had to do was eat it. And I was trying to force all this food down and it was super hard and my bffl was there and then we got distracted and the next thing I know, we're driving somewhere and I say 'hang on a minute, I need to go back, I wasn't done yet. So she goes to pull a U turn and I see we're in this old western town with a centrelink and Amanda Bynes is there with two kids and some older holier than thou woman is there and starts tsking and lecturing and insulting and then it turns to gay rights and I give this rousing speech. it's fucking brilliant, people clapped. Then everyone starts leaving, and running up the stairs (like the concrete stairs at a small train station, to get to the other side of the platform), except it leads up to the building. You know who and I are the only ones left standing outside the Centrelink so we race (or he just runs, but I race him) up to the top where he turns evil and tries to kill me.

This really isn't even starting to tap into the list of fucking weird things I've dreamed this week but I can't remember more right now.