Gosh, so I had a weird night.
Jen, Jen's bffl Tilly, Mia and I all went out together last night, which was good times. We pre-drank at mine, which wasn't the original plan, but at like 8pm I wake up from a nap and decided to order pizza and then Jen was like, hey are you keen to #getrkd and I was like, but nap and pizza, but I was quickly convinced. I've been at home too much lately and it's nice to do things that make me happy, rather than be sad always. I didn't rule out the possibility that drinking would send me into a cry fest, but it didn't.
Anyways, I ordered my pizza and when it was ready, I realised both cars were gone and I had no way to pick it up, so I begged Jen and Tilly to come over to mine and pick it up on the way, which they did #ultimatebaes.
Then we hung out for awhile, Mia came over eventually, cos I invited her and it worked quite well. We're still working on the foundations of our friendship as a quartet but I have faith. It's weird because Mia and Jen are my best friends, and Tilly and I are Jen's best friends. All we need is Mia to become best friends with Tilly and then everyone will have two bff's in the group. But basically as it is now, it's like Jen and Tilly and then Mia and I, though since Mia came late/left early, we got to explore the OT3 of Jen/Tilly/Lucy which was pretty great too.
It was pretty much the gayest night of my life. Jen and Tilly are super homo, all the time. I mean, not actually gay, as in Tilly has a boyfriend and Jen at least is straight, but still, Capital G Gay. Mia's not into that, but that's fine, I don't particularly want that kind of friendship with her so all g. But there was lots of kissing, which I liked, mostly after Mia left, and then we went full frontal skinny dipping, and then came back to mine and showered together, which again, was pretty lovely #galpals. We lit candles and then just sat down in the shower for ages in the warm.
Then we fell asleep pretty much straight away. Jen and I held hands literally all night long, and woke up so sore omg. Like, my arm was pretty much numb. I was like, I think we're still holding hands but I can't feel anything below the elbow. But it was super nice to wake up holding hands with someone I love. I think holding hands is very underrated as a form of affection. Actually, Mia and I need to bring that back. And cheek kisses, I'm a big fan of all kinds of face kisses.
It's nice to be here, to have this be my life. Of course, there are things I don't much like about my life, and I'm still very much grieving for Liz-- right now I'm sad that I can't tell her any of this, because she'd love hearing deets of me kissing girls and kissing two girls at the same time and all the nude shenanigans but unfortunately that's not a side of me she's ever going to get to know and I'm really sad that just over a year from now, I'll be older than she was when she died and I'll have the chance to get a million more experiences, of all kinds, and she'll be forever cut off at twenty two. Considering how much new stuff I experience in a year, that's such an unspeakable tragedy, because it's quite immeasurable how much stuff she's missed out. Like, come the beginning of May next year, that's when I'll have as much time living as she did. Anything past that is bonus round. And considering how much my life has changed for the better since 12 months ago-- I have so many new friends, I've done so many new things and changed so much, I can only guess where I will be in mid 2016.
But anyway, it was a nice, weird, vaguely surreal night. I'm glad, it was a break from all the dull panic and sadness of the week.
Jen, Jen's bffl Tilly, Mia and I all went out together last night, which was good times. We pre-drank at mine, which wasn't the original plan, but at like 8pm I wake up from a nap and decided to order pizza and then Jen was like, hey are you keen to #getrkd and I was like, but nap and pizza, but I was quickly convinced. I've been at home too much lately and it's nice to do things that make me happy, rather than be sad always. I didn't rule out the possibility that drinking would send me into a cry fest, but it didn't.
Anyways, I ordered my pizza and when it was ready, I realised both cars were gone and I had no way to pick it up, so I begged Jen and Tilly to come over to mine and pick it up on the way, which they did #ultimatebaes.
Then we hung out for awhile, Mia came over eventually, cos I invited her and it worked quite well. We're still working on the foundations of our friendship as a quartet but I have faith. It's weird because Mia and Jen are my best friends, and Tilly and I are Jen's best friends. All we need is Mia to become best friends with Tilly and then everyone will have two bff's in the group. But basically as it is now, it's like Jen and Tilly and then Mia and I, though since Mia came late/left early, we got to explore the OT3 of Jen/Tilly/Lucy which was pretty great too.
It was pretty much the gayest night of my life. Jen and Tilly are super homo, all the time. I mean, not actually gay, as in Tilly has a boyfriend and Jen at least is straight, but still, Capital G Gay. Mia's not into that, but that's fine, I don't particularly want that kind of friendship with her so all g. But there was lots of kissing, which I liked, mostly after Mia left, and then we went full frontal skinny dipping, and then came back to mine and showered together, which again, was pretty lovely #galpals. We lit candles and then just sat down in the shower for ages in the warm.
Then we fell asleep pretty much straight away. Jen and I held hands literally all night long, and woke up so sore omg. Like, my arm was pretty much numb. I was like, I think we're still holding hands but I can't feel anything below the elbow. But it was super nice to wake up holding hands with someone I love. I think holding hands is very underrated as a form of affection. Actually, Mia and I need to bring that back. And cheek kisses, I'm a big fan of all kinds of face kisses.
It's nice to be here, to have this be my life. Of course, there are things I don't much like about my life, and I'm still very much grieving for Liz-- right now I'm sad that I can't tell her any of this, because she'd love hearing deets of me kissing girls and kissing two girls at the same time and all the nude shenanigans but unfortunately that's not a side of me she's ever going to get to know and I'm really sad that just over a year from now, I'll be older than she was when she died and I'll have the chance to get a million more experiences, of all kinds, and she'll be forever cut off at twenty two. Considering how much new stuff I experience in a year, that's such an unspeakable tragedy, because it's quite immeasurable how much stuff she's missed out. Like, come the beginning of May next year, that's when I'll have as much time living as she did. Anything past that is bonus round. And considering how much my life has changed for the better since 12 months ago-- I have so many new friends, I've done so many new things and changed so much, I can only guess where I will be in mid 2016.
But anyway, it was a nice, weird, vaguely surreal night. I'm glad, it was a break from all the dull panic and sadness of the week.
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