Since I have a huge exam tomorrow I'm supposed to be studying for, I figured, hey, perfect time to update my blog!

I'm listening to Demi Lovato and I really love her, and love her music more and more every day. I'm past my days of listening to pop as a guilty pleasure. Bubblegum pop, radio pop, pop rock, it's my lifeblood. To quote the song I'm listening to: I really don't care!

It's so fun. Jen and I are always saying 'I just feel like I was supposed to have a good voice' so we could actually sing without making other peoples ears bleed. Of course, we do it anyway but how sweet would it be to be able to perform lyrics that really affect you emotionally in front of other people? I mean, I do it through just recording myself on my phone when I feel pretty and I'm in a good mood, and tell myself that one day I'll send it to whomever I'm singing about, whether it's my Mum or my best friend or whomever.

I can't believe I ever stayed up writin' songs about you,
You don't deserve to know the way I used to think about you.
Oh no, not any more
Oh no, not any more
You had your shot, had your shot, but you let go.

Now if we meet up on the street I won't be runnin' scared,
I'll walk right up to you, and put one finger in the air!

In other news, I deleted You-Know-Who from facebook. It doesn't sound like much, but it totally was. I can't even remember what sparked it, something Jen said probably, but I finally said fuck it and unfriended him. I didn't think it needed fanfare or an explanation. Last time I did it, in 2011, I freaked so hard I wrote this, and I still love it, I remember writing it and how I felt, but I just don't at all anymore. Sure, I think of him when I sing Demi Lovato, but that's cos I don't have anyone else... I don't want to be his friend or involved in his life anymore. And it's not the bullshit I used to tell myself, when I didn't speak to him, but wrote novellas about us meeting again in the future, sometimes a year in the future, sometimes 10 years when we were divorced and living on the other side of the country. 


Now... it's legit. He can move to Canada and get married and do whatever he wants, and short of him dying in a freak accident, I can't really imagine anything that would make me want to feel that way about him again. The world is big enough for both of us never to talk again really. And if not that far, it's definitely big enough for us not to be friends.

I don't hate him or whatever, I just don't care? I don't want to be friends because he isn't as fun as he was in high school, or as interesting. He's not into the things I'm into, and we disagree on so many fundamentals. Our politics are opposites, he's too far right for me, and he is kind of obnoxious and dumb when it comes to my feels. There are so many interesting people in the world. So many girls I want to date, so many boys I wanna get my groove on with. So much I want to do, and see. So many plans.