I'm kind of stressed and sad lately.

I have this group of friends and I'm closer to them than I saw before, but they aren't the same as my group of friends at home. I think I'm just less compatible with these guys? Like, I know they are funny and lovely and kind, but there is a bit of a disconnect between them and I.

I think it's my fault but at the same time, I found my spiritual soul mates already, with my bffl and Megan and all that at home, and Jen here, but I feel like maybe that's because we grew up together, we just grew towards each other and my friends here, even if we have similar likes and hobbies and there are awesome, we just are still... awkward.

I remember my birthday and I hung out with three of my besties, and it was just the most comfortable thing. Like, my friends at home think I'm funny, at least as far as that we make each other laugh, and I feel so compatible with all of them. I feel like I am 100% myself and I just... like it.

Here I feel like I'm a little bit alone. I remember the thing I missed originally was friends I could hug and I'm a pretty tactile person, I hate being touch deprived. Now I can hug my friends, occasionally, and they are pretty touchy with each other, even if they haven't developed that affectionate relationship with me (not their fault).

Right now I am hanging out with their kitchen, they are cooking Dutch pancakes for us all, and the others are just lying on the couches and we're singing along to music and it's nice, I do like it, I just with I had Megan or Chelsea or Mia here, I just do. Hopefully next semester I will have a friend here with me, and that'll take away that sensation of feeling a bit out.