So I promised myself when I came home that I would try to bring my Exchange mindset back with me. I told myself that I would attempt to make friends, join clubs, plan fun things like activities and parties, all the stuff that I did on Exchange that makes it special. Because time is so valuable there, and everyone's looking for an extraordinary experience, fun things happen more often.
But home can be like that too, and I'm always trying to improve myself so yeah, I'm going to a debating meeting this afternoon. It took someone flat out asking me to join, plus nervous tumblr blogging about it and having five people be like DO IT, for me to really be like... okay, I will maybe go on Monday, maybe.
I'm still on the fence. I'm like 95% like, yeah, I'll go, okay. But I'm scared, I hate new people, I hate being bad at things, I hate being in new situations, that is literally the worst. Ehhhhhh.
But it won't be a new situation forever and the people won't be strangers after I meet them and wherever the meeting is, it won't be scary and I'll be cool... okay, I just need to convince myself of that.
----
I went! It was fun. I did have fun. I also had moments of 'this is the worst decision I've ever made', like, moments before I had to stand up and debate, but shaking hands aside, I'm glad I went and did it. I'm going to keep going, I'm going to try again and get better. I think if I'm going to be happy, I have to do things I'm not comfortable with. Sure, some people are natural speakers, but a lot have to work at it and they improve and gain confidence through practice.
I think it's kind of awesome that I can be terrified of public speaking but join a debating club. You don't get over things by avoiding them and I want to meet people and become better than I am now. Some of my biggest flaws are that I lack confidence when talking to people and I'm shy and quiet. That's why people take drama right? To fix that stuff. Well, this is my attempt :)
But home can be like that too, and I'm always trying to improve myself so yeah, I'm going to a debating meeting this afternoon. It took someone flat out asking me to join, plus nervous tumblr blogging about it and having five people be like DO IT, for me to really be like... okay, I will maybe go on Monday, maybe.
I'm still on the fence. I'm like 95% like, yeah, I'll go, okay. But I'm scared, I hate new people, I hate being bad at things, I hate being in new situations, that is literally the worst. Ehhhhhh.
But it won't be a new situation forever and the people won't be strangers after I meet them and wherever the meeting is, it won't be scary and I'll be cool... okay, I just need to convince myself of that.
----
I went! It was fun. I did have fun. I also had moments of 'this is the worst decision I've ever made', like, moments before I had to stand up and debate, but shaking hands aside, I'm glad I went and did it. I'm going to keep going, I'm going to try again and get better. I think if I'm going to be happy, I have to do things I'm not comfortable with. Sure, some people are natural speakers, but a lot have to work at it and they improve and gain confidence through practice.
I think it's kind of awesome that I can be terrified of public speaking but join a debating club. You don't get over things by avoiding them and I want to meet people and become better than I am now. Some of my biggest flaws are that I lack confidence when talking to people and I'm shy and quiet. That's why people take drama right? To fix that stuff. Well, this is my attempt :)
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