Retro ramblings

Okay so keep in mind that I had 6 shots tonight, not enough to get my drunk because I am that hardcore but enough to surprisingly let me feel slightly.... less inhibition.

Tonight was the first of two clubbing nights this week, for my friend Chelsea who is going on exchange in less than a week, for her to see everyone and have a good time. So the two of us were together at the beginning of the night when these two guys came over and started chatting, asking where was good in wollongong to go out and Chelsea mostly talked.

Then later we were dancing and they came back and the first guy started dancing with her, then making out which she was amicable to. The wingman/ friend started looking at me and I was looking back. We started grinding/dancing (there isn't much difference haha) and once I let myself not do what I thought would be 'sexy' and what made my lady parts feel nice, that was good. We started making out to the Spice Girls of all things (~so I'll tell ya what I want, what I really really want~) and I gave him my number and got his name- Ian. Chelsea was busy with her guy, but we exchanged 'omg lol' grins once in a while because it was quite funny that we had both picked up, which was a goal of the evening. After awhile the guys left to get drinks and we were like, cool yeah whatever, so they left. Chelsea hadn't managed to get her guy's number to save so that was a bummer and we saw the guy picking up another girl later that night so that was lame. But my guy texted me and we met up again and danced/kissed, and he pulled me away and went to leave.

I stopped him and said 'I can't go home with you, I'm sorry' and he was like 'are you sure, you can stay over' etc but I was like 'no, I can't, we can go dance or you can call me tomorrow but I can't go home with you' and he was like 'yeah okay, it's okay, I'll call you tomorrow' and we danced and kissed and then he said he had to go, 'it was his friends birthday, you understood right?' and that was fine, we were right next to my friends anyway.

So then we left, and I got a lift home with everyone and here I am :)

Work in the morning but I doubt very much I'll be hungover, I didn't have enough for that and I feel fine. I will have another full glass of water before I sleep though. I don't expect the guy to call. I'm not saying he won't, but I have no expectation either way.

It was fun, I've never gone that far with a guy, aside from the hand on my ass, his thigh was quite happy to push between my legs and his hand wandered  up my dress before I pushed it back down. Don't get me wrong, he can touch my boobs and ass all he wants, that's great, but my undies are off limit. All areas except actual genitals because I neither  want him there nor want to give a wristy on the dance floor.

And I wasn't going to fuck him in an alley, or his house. It's not what I want for my first time. Or second time honestly. Maybe fifth. But I need a few good, intimate/emotional bangs first. Well, I think so. When I consider the fact that I could be getting fucked right now, my brain is like 'Lucy, you fucking dumbass!' but then the rest of me is like 'shut up Id, you are such a child, how would the rest of Lucy feel in the morning? That is, if she wasn't raped and murdered and left in pieces in a dumpster?"

But I have serious needs, it is reaching crisis proportions. When I get a boyfriend that I am really truly into, I am seriously going to fuck him so often, it is going to make his head spin. Because while I am totally self sufficient, I do like the heat and weight of another person against my hips and ass and once I get it for real, it is going to be on.