Body Hair

If you're a girl, I'm sure you've had comments on your body hair before. Probably not nice things either, except for some 'ooh your legs are so smooth!' But also, 'urgh gross, hairy', or 'why haven't you shaved?' or friends telling you they absolute could not go out with bare legs without shaving or waxing or finding some other way to mystically de-hairify.

I'm sure we could all think of one. For me, it was the beginning of Year 10, I was at Camp in a  sleeveless shirt. It was Summer, we were camping. One of my friends told me a guy I knew-was friends with- had made a comment about my underarm hair. She'd defended me, telling the truth, that my mum didn't let me shave, which hopefully kept me from becoming a social leper but that harmless comment,  I still remember it today and I cringe, I do. I feel embarrassed because if he saw and said something, how many other people saw and thought rude things? I was just turned 15, still pretty unconcerned with this stuff, but my self esteem was taking a few hits. And the fact is that this guy is hairy as fuck, and there is nothing physically different about my body hair compared to his, except his was socially acceptable, and mine, as a 15 years old girl, was not.

I'm a feminist obviously, and think women shouldn't have to shave  but personally I do. I don't like stares or odd looks, I don't like embarrassment and I'm quite thin skinned. Also, I like feeling smooth and neat. I think the most important thing is that women should be able to choose and at this point, I don't think women have much of a choice, not without being socially excluded, maybe even losing job opportunities due to improper grooming.

It just irks me, because men don't have to and shaving is so stupid. It takes time and effort. It is a very short term solution. It leads to immeasurable nicks and cuts. Hair isn't unhygienic. It actually serves a purpose. Erect hairs trap still air which keeps cold air out, that's the function of all hairs on the body.

And the fact is, society tells us that women have to look a certain way, that they are a certain way. But the fact is that women have hair, natural hair. Including pubic hair. And it doesn't always grow neatly, or stay within the lines. It's going to spread to the inside of your thighs and be visible beyond your undies line, it's going to sprout up towards your bum, and it's going to pop up on your areole and pits and God only knows where else. And people should chill out about it.

Yes, you can remove it, you can spend 30 bucks and get your legs waxed, or spread em and get your bikini line done, or you can shave it all off in the shower, awkwardly propped up to get a proper reach and it'll feel smooth for two seconds and then red bumps will appear where you irritated your skin with the razor and then you'll be nothing but uncomfortable and itchy and the next day you'll just be bumpy and unable to do anything about it.

The thing is though, I don't have anyone that I regularly get naked with so the fact is, the decisions I make for my body hair are for my benefit alone. No one else is looking and/or touching so does it matter still? Totally. When I shave it all, it's because it makes me feel sexy or comfortable or when I don't, it's because that makes me feel sexy and comfortable. When I keep well groomed, it's to make me feel good and confident, not to please others.

When I get a partner, if they asked me to do things a certain way, would I say no straight off the bat? Maybe not, but I'd explain to them why I don't already do it the way they suggest, let them understand that it's impossible to maintain, that just because it looks hot on the internet doesn't mean I want to look like an infantalised porn star. As an example. Obviously communication is always important, and understanding for your partner. But there is compromise, and them concessions and then things get problematic after that.

It's not that I don't think people should be able to think hair is unsexy, but I question why people think so. Because I look at hair on men and think 'ok cool' but I raise my eyebrow when I see the same hair on a girl and think 'ew'. But it's the same hair. There is literally no difference. One is not more unhygienic, they don't feel different or grow differently, so obviously it's a taught opinion, not a natural one. That is problematic.

omg

A good friend of mine is preggers. Knocked up. Up the duff. Expecting. With child. Bun in the oven. Eating for two.

It's insane.

I'm 18 by the way. She's 19, but only just.

Her boyfriend has broken up with her for deciding to not get an abortion- against his opinion.

Honestly that's the part I'm most disappointed by. I mean, yeah, it sucks that they were stupid enough to get lax on protection- though 80% of unplanned pregnancies occur while the couple is on at least some form of contraception. But to leave your girlfriend pregnant, after a long relationship that had problems but was committed and loving... that's something I can't excuse or forgive.

It's a game changer. This will affect the rest of her life. Every part of it. In heaps of awful ways. She's going to have to grow up majorly and she's not going to be able to be much of a kid anymore. It's sad that this has happened of course.

Obviously we have to hope that her boyfriend comes round and will support her in full capacity, as father of the child, but to be honest, though my respect levels for this guy were pretty high until now, to me, anyone who could leave someone the way he did can't be trusted to be there. If he left once, he could do it again.

And the guy I kind of had a thing for, he's taken her boyfriends side. So crush over. Which is probably a good thing.

I mean, I can accept heaps of things, but sexism isn't on that list. Some things, like my boyfriend accepting that unplanned pregnancy means it's my decision whether to carry the baby to term or abort the fetus, but that I expect to have his full support either way, are just expected for me honestly. If they want to have sex with me, that's the contract. Simple as. Women's rights 101. My body, my choice.

Honestly, I think that childbearing is the reason that men became the dominant sex originally. It's weird that.

Anyway, that's the prominent thing I've been thinking about this week. It's crazy to have something that  I kind of had ideas and opinions about come to life in front of me. Obviously I've been debating it with people for the last few days but still! It's insane.

Also, if you read this blog and know me in real life (you know who you are!), don't spread rumours or gossip or hypothesis about who I'm talking about. This is still sensitive information.