Napoli to Croatia

These are the hands of fate,

you’re my Achilles heel.

This is the golden age of something good, and right, and real.

I’m on a ferry off the coast of Bari now, just beginning my long overnight ride to Dubrovnik. Being the resourceful youth that I am, I found a power point hidden away behind a TV and my computer charger is just long enough to reach up to it from my seat at the front and corner.

It’s not my assigned seat but thankfully, the ferry isn’t full so no one has bothered me and there are a lot of other empty seats.

I’m listening to Taylor Swift and am in just such a euphoric mood. Taylor Swift is like that for me. So expect a lot of lyrics from various songs throughout this post, just because. Today hasn’t been an easy day per se. Travel days never are. I always have 5000 worries, and one by one I tick them off or bypass them, but it’s the part of travelling that requires you to have nerve. People I meet tell me I’m impressive for travelling along so young and mostly I don’t think so, I just do it, but on travel days, I do know what they mean and I do feel like I’m achieving something. It’s mostly dumb stuff, but it forces me from my comfort zone.

This morning I set my alarm for 8am so I could pack my bag and be ready to go early. I knew the bus left at 1:30pm but I didn’t have a ticket yet and I didn’t know if Giovanni would kick me out of the hostel at 10 or something because check out and basically, I just knew I needed to have my shit together today. Thankfully, Giovanni came through, he booked my ticket for me and then all I had to do was walk down to the Tabbachi store and give them the note he’d written and pay for it, and they’d give me a bus ticket.

Except what the fuck is Tabbachi. Like, you can put a dot on a city map and I’ll go to the street but if I don’t know exactly which store, I am hardly likely to just go in to random stores and start waving my paper in their faces, to blank stares and questions in Italian.

Anyway, I did the right thing and asked what exactly a tabbachi store is. He just looks at me blankly. “Tobbachi, tobbachi!’ And then I got it. Tobacco. The cigarette store.

So the first was closed, the second I saw was closed, except for a 24hour dispenser, but then the one that Giovanni had actually rung up was open and being brave (because yes, for me, this stuff is cause for nerves), I went in and asked. One staff member calls another, they tell me no, not today, tomorrow. I am thinking, well, fuck, it kind of needs to be today, I have a ferry to catch on the opposite coast. But then one tells me, go left, go up the road, the other shop can help me.

I’m awful at this stuff, but I say something like ‘I think they’re closed…” and I’m told ‘no, no, no’ and off I go, wandering back to the other store. Eventually, I screw up my courage and go ask again. A lot of travelling is asking stupid questions. Only I prefer travelling with people who have the skill of asking and not sounding stupid and don’t need me to do it.

But I went back and said, I’m sorry, I don’t know where to go.

So she woman comes to the door with me, says ‘go left, barrrr.’ It’s like charades.

“Baaarrrr?” I repeat dumbly.

She is impatient. “Bar!”

Again, I have my moment of clarity finally. Oh, an actual bar. I didn’t know bars sold bus tickets but then again, I didn’t know cigarette stores did either.

So I walk until I find a bar called bar. I go in. They guy says yes, won’t take my card. I have just enough cash. I had to make the last four euros in coins. But I had a ticket.

Then the next trial was getting to the bus station. I was competent enough to get from the hostel with my bags to the metro and from the metro to the Central station and up to the train station. I knew the bus terminal was around somewhere. I was more than an hour early so I wasn’t worried about time just yet. I had factored in my incompetence, see.

I found a sign that said taxi/bus and I didn’t really think that was it, because that seemed more like regular buses that go over the city. I was looking for an actual bus station. I see a sign for information but when I try to follow it, I can’t find it, so I wander some more. I’m getting a tad anxious.

Eventually, on my next circle of the train station, I find the info booth and show her my ticket. I’m trying to find MetroPark. She says, yes, points me left, and the name of a place (street, store, I don’t know).

“Outside the train station?” I ask.

“No, no, no, just down there.” I don’t catch what I’m supposed to do next, but I go the way they say dutifully, and to my delight, the word she said was a store. I go past it, expecting this corner of the station to magically turn into a bus stop. No luck. I wander a bit further, and ask a currency exchange guy. I figured he’d know some English. He said yes, go right (back the way I’d come), mentioned a café. I nodded, thanked him, and wandered back towards the info booth. I wander a lot, you might realise. I ask a few more shops, because I liteally am just in a train station, walking in front of a row of shops. Between the shop the info lady had mentioned and the café the currency exchange guy had mentioned, there was just a beauty/makeup store. But it led to outside, so I went in, and walked out and in and looked like a loser, but they didn’t know what I was talking about when I said MetroPark. “Metropolis?” One asked hopefully. I shook my head.

As I resolved to ask for help at the info booth again, I saw a sign leading to Terminal Bus.

I’ll admit, I probably sound stupid but word order is important. Terminal Bus made me think of like, a shuttle bus that takes people between terminals at the airport, not a bus terminal. But I hurried down this corridor, because surely.

Hurray, I found it. With over 30 minutes to spare. But then the next challenge was finding which bus was mine. I looked at my ticket (in Italian) for words that could match up to the buses around me. Like, the company or something. I actually nearly missed the obvious, but got on the right bus eventually.

For 3 and a half hours, I was happy. We were following the right signs to Bari, I was going to get there. I got some sleep.

But then we got closer. I had a weird ticket. I was supposed to get off at Bari Porto, but then get another bus from there immediately to Bari Port (add more words here). So I was nervous about that. But we made it to the port and I was like, okay, I think this is it, I’m getting off. So I grab my bag, go down to get off when the driver tells the two girls in front of me who are showing him their ticket to get back on. I half say ‘oh, so this isn’t right, okay—“ and I just go back up, shrugging.

But then I start feeling anxious. I had seen signs saying Bari Porto. Maybe I should ask again— but they all just spoke Italian, when the guy had checked my ticket, he’d had to grab a passenger to translate identification for me, so I could pull out my license. So I put on my worried face, hoping one of the people around me would be kind and look at my ticket and say that I was fine, it was just one more stop.

But they didn’t, so I held in my tears, as we drove further away from the port and I was furious at myself for being stupid. How the hell was I supposed to get back to the port? Thankfully, the next stop was Bari and everyone got out, including me. I got my bag and just stood there for a minute, as people cleared away. I hadn’t given up hope or anything, I knew I’d just have to struggle my way back to the port.

But then a guy talking to the bus driver says ‘taxi?” and I shake my head automatically, but I still look quite distressed and he asks where I need to go. I tell him the port and he asks if I’m going to Dubrovnik and says the name of the ferry I’m catching and I say yes and he says 15 euros and he’d take me right to the gate I need to go.

So I nod and I get in. I have a 50 euro note, so I can pay and 15 euros suddenly feels like nothing. Even though the whole bus ride, which was expensive enough, was only 24 and this was only a 5-10 minute drive.

When I get there, and give him the 50 nervously, he asks for smaller notes because he doesn’t have change and I’m terrified he’s just going to take the whole 50, but he just tells me to wait, and goes into the Kebab store and gets change. He gave me back 35 and I say grazie and then he gave me a bottle of water he must have just bought. I walk away thinking he must have been an angel encounter. It doesn’t sound like much, but he’d seen I was upset and he was kind.

And that was the end of my struggles for the night. I pull out my journal with my ticket details written down (I hadn’t been able to print them so that was another stress, that they wouldn’t accept just the numbers) but there was only one woman at the counter, and she was also waiting, because the counter didn’t open until 6pm and it was only 5:30pm. She’d had her own travel traumas and had been there all day, so she was determined to get her ticket first. Even if you book online, you still need to exchange that at the office for an actual ticket.

So even though I was starving (hadn’t had time to eat all day), I stayed and talked with her. Her husband was there as well, and they’d made friends with a young American guy. They personally were from South Africa.

When we’d got our tickets, we all went for a long explore of the old town. Our goal was to find a butchers shop that apparently sold cheap sandwiches but it was nice. We killed time until about 8:30. I finally got a kebab for dinner. The three people I had attached to were lovely. We just talked and talked and got through finding the ship and immigration and all of that.

Once we were on the ship, we were all sitting in relatively the same area but we just found seats we liked. Tony, the young US guy, wanted to be in front of a TV with good signal to watch the end of the football. Speaking of, I STILL DON’T KNOW IF THE NETHERLANDS WON THE PENALTY SHOOTOUT. From the food stand, we watched some of the game but left before the end of the penalties. I’m supporting the Dutch this year so fingers crossed they beat Mexico.

So since then, I’ve just hung out, charged my laptop, typed my story. I’m at 45000 words so basically, all I’ve learnt is that if I want to succeed at NaNoWriMo, I just need to backpack during. Not that my story was inspired by anything I’ve seen backpacking, I started it in the last week at Exeter and it’s just about home and my family and friends really, but I’ve just wrote it like a Trojan since I’ve been travelling. Unfortunately, I’ve started to fun out of stream a little bit. Hopefully, I can find a way to take it in a new direction. It’s set over a very long period of time so I’m sure there is a lot more I could add. So far it’s very much in the first stage of ‘the author telling the author what happens’. Once I’ve finished doing that, I can start putting in more dialogue and showing, rather than just telling.

Tomorrow I still  have to make it to the place I’m staying and I don’t have a map just yet. If I could just get wifi, I could google map it. If not though, I’ll just bite the bullet and get a taxi. I don’t have any Croatian money, but I have been told (by TripAdvisor) that they accept Euros. At least until I can get to an ATM.

Looking forward to seeing Mia immensely.

I said remember this feeling, I passed the pictures around.

Of all the years that we stood there on the sidelines, wishing for right now

Napoli

I've been feeling terrible not updating my blog these last few days after my Rome post, because I feel like it made it seem like I wasn't happy or enjoying travelling or backpacking or any of that, and I truly am. Rome wasn't my favourite for a number of reasons, but it wasn't awful and I certainly don't regret putting in in my travel plans. When I wrote the Rome post, it was right after running away from the guy who wanted me to give him 10 euros so I was in full adrenaline mode.

I really loved my time in Naples, I have one night left, but obviously I leave tomorrow. I will be taking a bus at 1:30pm to Bari, google it, it's basically just the other coast of Italy but equally south. I'm on the west coast now, and I'm taking a ferry from Bari at 10pm and sailing in not-luxury to Dubrovnik where Mia is already waiting!

Awkward... because we mixed up dates. She was supposed to arrive tomorrow night, so I'd meet her as soon as she woke up after sleeping off jetlag. Instead, she has a whole day by herself. Oh well.

Napoli has been brilliant though. It's a beautiful city. Everybody warned me that it wouldn't be nice, that it was in the south and the south is more dangerous and poorer, but it's not really true. I mean, it's dirty, but so are a lot of cities, like Athens was the same. Covered 100% in graffiti, but it's still beautiful. It's all so old. The hostel I'm in is 600 years old, no big deal. It's the archeology centre of the world really. Everything is so old. The alleyways and roads are so maze-like and narrow, it's like being inside a video game. Truly, it's quite magical. I feel like Sora running through Traverse Town. I feel like I should be hitting chairs and things for HP.

I met two really lovely girls (women?). They were sisters and they were from India, but studying in England and France respectively. The older one was doing her PHD in medicine, so she's already an MD and the younger was getting her Masters in Physics, so that was just rad. We didn't have the same instant friend connection that I'd had with others, but they let me hang out with them for two days and I don't know if I'd have been able to see half of what I did without them there. I mean, I always manage, but I do struggle to do things by myself sometimes. No shame, but finding places using trains and maps and all of that, it's hard work. I like people that let me follow them around as they do all the sites, especially in a city like Napoli. I did Vesuvius and Pompei with them.

 Vesuvius selfie

Pompei (it's pretty self explanatory)

Then yesterday, they left because they were only doing two days, so I was a sad little lost puppy and Giovanni, the hostel owner, took me all around Napoli on his motorbike. Yay! I love motorbikes. Very good way to see the city.

Then today I did a day trip by myself to one of the small islands. It was good. I can't believe I'm not sunburnt, the sun was on me all day and was ridiculously strong. Sunblock does work, clearly.

Tomorrow Giovanni is helping me buy my bus ticket and then I'll be off to Bari and then Dubrovnik. I can't wait to see the bffl.

Rome

I have one more night in Rome before I head of Naples!

I thought I'd really love it but unfortunately I didn't. It was just okay. Like, I didn't like the streets or the people or the atmosphere.

My hostel was nice. It was in an apartment, I know it was very homey. Like, the other hostels I'd stayed in hotels were like, but with lots of room for people, but this is just like a share house. I do not really prefer it because i like my privacy. Like, if I stay in my room, I do not want anyone to be Able to tell and judge me on it.

But the people are all really nice, it's a very community feel.

Unfortunately I didn't get to see much of Rome, just out of sheer laziness. You know sometimes you just lose all motivation and just don't feel like doing things and you just feel mad at everything? Like, I did the Colosseum in a rage, it was crazy. Like, everything was pissing me off. Every time someone cut in front of me, I felt like Homer in that Simpson's episode where he's controlling his rage and bumps keep popping out his neck.

The people I met in the Hostel were nice, and I did some of the sightseeing and evenings with them, but it wasn't the same as the friendships I made in Santorini. Those guys I really think I could have been best friends with in another lifetime.

I just felt a lot more threatened in Rome, less safe. In Athens I felt like that too, but more in a people staring at me kind of way. Here, it felt like people were constantly sizing me up, seeing how much money they could con me out of.

I was good at avoiding it most of the time, but it's so tricky. People start doing something for you and then you kind of say no, but they just keep doing it and then they turn around, stick out their hand and say '10 euros'. It pisses me off because most of the time, it's stuff I don't want or like what just happened. I was at the train station, it's huge obviously. It's Roma Termini, basically the terminus of Rome. All trains meet there in the middle of the city. I was running a bit late (sue me I was trying to boil eggs to take with me for lunch) and then I didn't realise how difficult it would be to find where the trains actually were. It was like being inside an airport. And then finding what track. Basically, I have my two bags, backpack and duffle bag, I'm sweating and I finally get to the right place, 12. And then a guy comes up, takes my folder out of my hands, asks where I'm going, I say Napoli because yeah, Naples. He says okay, and starts walking with my folder down the train. I know it sounds stupid, but these things happen fast and I was scared the train was about to go so I just hop, skip and jump after him as he strides down the train to the eighth carriage. 

In Australia, that's what infomation guys do! They help you find your place, only they are actually employed by the station. But not in Rome. The guy gets to the right carriage, hops in with me and asks for money. 

I sigh internally, but say okay, pull out my wallet and give him two euro. He says no, ten. I say no, I don't have ten. I did, but not actually a ten dollar note, only a twenty and thats still way too much for two minutes of walking next to me. Like, the carriages are numbered, I could have found 8 just as quickly. Plus another time I tried to ask for change from a two euro for a one euro bottle of water, the guy just changed his price and said, it's two euro now. So I wasn't giving this guy a twenty euro note. Most likely I'd hand it over, he'd grin, say thanks and hop of the train, leaving me stuck.

He was quite threatening. Like, he was right next to me in the alleyway in the train. I fished out the rest of my coins. I don't know how much it was, but mostly just small change. Probably a few more dollars. But I said, look, sorry, no, I'm not giving you my 20, you didn't say it would cost 10 euro, I don't have it, take the coins, I'm sorry. And then I backed down the alley way to find my seat, scared he would chase me and just keep demanding.

Thankfully he didn't. He did grab my arm but not hard.

I just didn't really like Rome. I thought the people were rude and demanding and didn't really make me feel welcome or comfortable in the city. I wouldn't mind coming again one day but for now, it's not on my list anymore.

So I'm in Santorini now, it's rad.  

I really liked Athens, I did all of the Akropolis/Agora in the first day. It is so hot. So, so hot. Like, I bought SPF50 sunscreen and never stopped sweating when I was outside.

There was a good atmosphere there though, a lot of restaurants and markets and things to look at. It's a pretty run down city though. I mean, Greece isn't 3rd world, but it's not 1st world either. 2nd world? Like, graffiti everywhere, a lot of streets/ alleys with just everything boarded up and a lot of poor people.

All the cats were really skinny which is sad, but I saw similar things to that in Portugal.

I really loved the Hostel I was at in Greece. If you subscribe to my snapchat, there were quite a few awesome snaps from the roof. They had a rooftop patio, you could see the Akropolis and it was lovely decorated and had fairy lights and in the evenings, people would come up to drink and meet up and chat. That's how I met the people that I really became friends with. On the 2nd night, I chatted for a few hours with a NZ woman and a Canadian guy and we all got dinner together that night. Then after that I met a bunch of Australian guys that were very chill. On the third night I went out to dinner by myself and ended up introducing myself to an Australian family (like 8 of them, with kids) and they invited me to join them and I got a full Greek salad and when they got 2 bottles ( little bottles because it's a shot, not like real wine) of honey wine, they made me do it with them. It smelt like hot cross buns and it was hot. I think that's what mead is. So I had a few shot glasses full of that, and then they left me the bottle so I had about 5 or 6. Then the Australian guys in my room invited me up to the roof, so I went and hung out with them for a few more hours and then went to bed. Because I had to catch a ferry at 7:25 the next morning, I only got about 3 hours sleep, but one of the other guys also had to get a ferry at 7, so we left together in the morning.

I was well prepared, I'd trip advisored this shit intensely. So after 3 days, I definitely knew where the Station was and everything, and it was 1.40 euros for a ticket and it was about 20 minutes away. We got there about 6am, and then I had to get my ticket for the ferry. I already had reserved it, but I had to check in / exchange my booking number for a ticket, and then the ferry was right there, the closest one, and I was on over an hour early, so I got a seat next to a window with a power point. Basically, I was set for the next 8 hours.

The ferry wasn't what I was expecting at all. I was expecting some little rinky dink thing, but it was basically a cruise ship. Very cool.

Then I was in Santorini! Hurrah!

I've made a good group of friends here, last night we drank wine from plastic bottles on the beach, one of them got with another guy and pretty much were having sex in the shallow water. I saw a lot of ass cos those pants were definitely both around their ankles. But it was funny and the guys were so nice. The people in my group are all from the States, three travelling together, one girl and two guys, both of whom are gay. Which is disappointing, one is so pretty, like, dark features and blue eyes, and the other is huge, like 6'4 and a swimmer so that type of body. And both are really fun and we get along great. To clarify, while it was the pretty one who was having sex in the water, it wasn't with the other guy in my group, they're best friends. We met two other guys who drank with us and one of them was gay as well.

Today I had breakfast by myself, but ran into the guys afterwards sunbaking. Our hostel is literally 30 metres from Perissa Beach, which is 5 km long and has black sand which is so hot on your feet, it's insane. My poor feet are so sensitive, I had to buy new thongs and I think I'm going to just wear them right to the waters edge and leave them there, so I don't have to do another agonising sprint to and from.

I think my next two days will be busier, since I did have quite a few plans of things I wanted to do, including a day trip out to the volcano and a long hike.We 'll have to see what happens!

PS I'm really sorry Ratchet, I both blocked AND deleted your comment. Fucking translating everything into Greek, I have no idea what I'm clicking. But I'm in Greece until the 22nd, when I fly out to Rome and the Naples, Dubrovnik, Paris, Frankfurt, Hamburg and then Paris and Frankfurt again. I'm not going back to England, so I fly back to Aus on the 22nd of July :) I was really anxious to be alone but now I've realised how easy it is to make friends, travelling alone isn't as intimidating or lonely. It's just independent, if that makes sense, because no one else gets to decide in the end what I do, though they can still have influence. Which is great for me :)

After I finish Italy, I met Mia in Dubrovnik. She flies in the evening of the 29th, when I am catching a ferry from Bari overnight to meet her the next morning on the 30th. We travel together until the 15th :)

My life is more interesting than your life

I'm in Athens!

I Made IT alllllllll by myself :) That's Very Rare for Me, I'm Not Used to BE So Self Sufficient, Even on Exchange I Made My Way with A Lot  of Help for Other People.

But I navigated booking all my hostels, flights, connectors from one to the other, luggage, languages, time zones and I made it. It's Day 1, I was awake at 4am to catch my 5am bus (and it was a nap, like an hour and a half since World Cup was on late, boooo Chile: P) plus I was packing and checking / rechecking things over and over all night.

I was also responsible for checking out of my flat, which meant about 8 hours of cleaning on the same day, and going to uni to print off all my confirmations and flight details and shopping for new clothes and just everything. Yesterday was the busiest day I've had, literally ever, because I was on such a tight schedule. Today was worse, but in a stressful way. 

Bus from Exeter to London was only 3 hours 20 minutes, which is ridiculously fast since half the time I catch it it takes 5 and a half hours. But it was a Saturday morning at 5am so understandable. 

I Got checked in decisively . done I've Never These things alone understand, So IT's A Big Deal for Me to work out Where  to go  and Which Terminal and Which SECTION and Which Airline and do I Need to go to this or Booth?  yesterday but Before She left, Jen said to me, Lucy, you are more capable that you think. And I kept that in my head and got everything done.

My flight had a stopover in Oslo, so technically I've been to Norway now. Afterwards the immigration was ridiculously Long and I was sure Not Even IF I was Supposed to BE there, since I was Just stopping over and I Could Not Ask since I do Not Speak Norwegian, but IT was right, and Eventually , I Got through and went through international transfers security and then I couldn't have lunch because they don't use Euros in Norway and then my next flight was 4 hours and it was also fine, I mostly slept but it was about 30 minutes late so by the time I got my baggage off the carosel, it was 9 o'clock and I had to be at the hostel by 11 to check in.

I found my way to the Metro, bought a ticket, studied the map, waited, fretted, and eventually got on the train, counting off all the stops. The stop before mine, was a big one, and almost everyone got off. It was a change lines stop, so we were on blue, and then you could switch to the red line. I knew I needed to BE on Blue but I was Not sure IF the Train I was on switched to Red or What, I really did Not Know. But when everyone stood up, I reflex panicked and did as well, but then I asked two men and they were like 'what?' because obviously, language barrier but when they asked what stop I wanted and I said, they were like, that's the next stop, stay on and I did.

Then I had a good map and directions from the Metro to the hostel but I still managed to mess it up, by going too far along one street. Athens is unlike Anything I've ever seen. The People, the roads, the Driving . It's insane. I Just held tightly to My Bags, Because there was A Lot of Cash in My Wallets, Plus My Passport and whatnot. I Know this May Sound Racist, but IT's A Legitimate Thing, the Gypsies Will  Rob You in A Heartbeat and they Have Lots of TRICKS, some of Which Already I had seen in the like on the 15th minutes I was out.

I Still Have Not Dinner but had I Have Chafing and blisters and I Can Not be Bothered to go back out in. Tomorrow I Will Have A Huge Breakfast.

PS I am sorry about the ridiculous capitisation. For some reason, blogger won't use english since I'm in Greece so it's automatically translating everything into english, even though it all is english.

:(

I'm sad.

One of my best friends goes back to America tomorrow and I don't know when I'm going to see her again.

My other best friend has both a boyfriend and a boy who is 100% into her that she can skirt the line with and it makes me mad and jealous and frustrated and silent because I don't know what I feel. I don't know if I want her or what she has. I don't know if I want to be her, or be on her. I don't know if I want her to just hug me or if I want her to hug just me and no one else. I don't know if I want her to just love me or be in love with me because I don't know if I love her or am in love with her.

Yes, she is the most perfect girl in the world. But I could be friends with the most perfect girl in the world and only be jealous because I want to be the most perfect girl in the worlds best friend, even though I know you can't hold someone that special back, or hide their light because she shines so very brightly.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't think I want to be in love with her. I think it scares the hell out of me, I think it's stupid and reckless and will ruin one of the best friendships in my life. That's what unrequited love does, because it makes you sad and unhappy and jealous and makes you cry and say stupid things and want things you can't have.

Being in love is only fun if you have a chance.

The fact that she's a girl doesn't scare me, I've loved best friends before, desperately, and it's a lonely business. It involves self sacrifice and you always feel weird about it afterwards, because you never know if deep down your motives are selfish and you are hoping they'll change their mind one day. Every time you hug or ask them out for dinner or kiss them on the cheek or feel jealous of other people in their life, you have to check yourself and make sure.

When I watch Faking It, I feel just like Amy. I really want it to get renewed because I really want a roadmap showing where to go on from here, when you love a best friend who doesn't love you back?

-------------

Edit: I still think I'm kind of confused but less so now that I've slept.

Now that there are two couples in my group of friends, and both are Capital G Gay, it does make me consider that more and I do struggle with falling for close friends because I do feel very intensely about my friends that I sometimes mix it up.

I think though, in this case, that it's more that I'm intensely jealous of this girls charisma, because her smile is like the sun. I like what it gets her, and while I begrudge her nothing because she's equally beautiful on the inside, I wish I was too.