One of the weird, nice things when you make a new close friend, is that you start picking up some of their quirks. I think it's especially magnified because I don't have much exposure to old friends, and since my environment is new and all my personality is in flux because of that, it's doubly effective.

One of the things I have noticed is Jen, she has this one expression when she's like 'nah, uh uh, nope,' and now I make the same expression, I'm such a mimic.

Everything here is good. I lucked out because with Jen here, I feel like I've always got a bff, which means I'm comfortable in pretty much any other situation I get put in. As long as I have one person to look to, I don't ever feel lonely. I realise now that without her, I'd probably be feeling a lot more isolated here, because while making friends that you can go out with or spend time in a group with is great, and for sure there is great possibility for development there, without someone who genuinely cares about you day to day, who would notice if things aren't right, you can feel very, very alone. I mean, life is by default isolating. Quote: "We are all so curiously alone, but it's important to keep making signals through the glass." I found that to be such strong imagery, and it's certainly an idea which has caused me anxiety over the years, that it's never really possible to achieve true intimacy or communication. I'm also doing a subject called Communication and Social Groups right now, so as always, I am relating my life to my Uni. It's amazing how terrible people are at sharing and processing information.

My classes are good though, 5 hours a week, holla. I spent last weekend in Bath with Chelsea and did the tourist thing, this weekend I am going to London to see T-Swizzle. Very exciting. Who knows what I am doing the weekend after :) It's nice that things are always happening, but I still have a lot of time to hang out by myself. In the last week and a half, I've watched 3 seasons of Castle. I still retain some of my old ways!

But I've taken up painting majorly. It's like all I do. I spent half of today doing this one in honour of tomorrows concert

Yesterday I was in a Game of Thrones mood so I did Dany. I've really been embracing my sapphic side, every single painting I've done has been of pretty girls. So boobs were a natural next progression.

I just get this massive thrill that I feel like I'm improving with every painting I attempt. I've now got a set of acrylics and watercolours and I've been experimenting with both and I'm just having a lot of fun, and I feel like I actually have talent. I'm doing something that would impress me if someone else did it. Very exhilarating. I like that I finally have a medium to express fandom now. Since I lost confience in my writing ability (and motivation for it), I feel like it's been hard for me to feel like I was contributing. Now, I have a way.

Especially if I stopped drawing girls only and start drawing Destiel. That may happen eventually, and I'm certainly pushing the envelope with each painting I do, but I don't feel ready yet to graduate to drawing guys, cos they don't have long hair which makes them easy to identify. I attempted to paint a photo of my best friends and I, purely faces, but after 10 hours, I got frustrated with a failed attempt at cheekbones and have given it up for now. I actually prefer the full body figures, with faces that are slightly modified from generic but not all out. Like, I think Dany and T-Swizzle look different in facial features but no way could you recognise each of them just by their face. The one of my best friends and I, you can tell just by looking which one I am, and they are, and I got a real sense of being able to see them in the lines I was painting, but it's been put on hold for now because its hard as fuck.