Hey Hey You You, I wanna be your girlfriend...

So, I'm bi.

That isn't new. I've known it for like, 5 years now. It doesn't bother me at all, it's who I am/ born this way etc.

There is a tendency for people to not really take it seriously though, myself included.

I've never really considered dating a girl. I don't know why. Maybe it's societal pressure. Probably, being bi is great, I don't have to ever step off my comfort zone which is straight. Have I ever wanted to date a girl... well, once, the first girl. I actually told her this week, that I'd been into her once. And the whole, I'm bisexual thing and then she hugged me and said she was flattered and I was like, 'so you should be....ok you can stop hugging me now.'

It wasn't awkward which was important.

But I know I want to kiss girls and it's not just about titillating boys, I genuinely am attracted to girls. I think they're pretty and smart and pretty and nice and did I mention pretty? But generally though, there is a much lower level of want, like I don't ever consider it seriously that I could ever date a girl. I just can't get the idea through my head.

There's not blueprint for that. What would I tell my bffl? Would she still help me and tell me what to say and do and wear? Would I have to be the pursuer because let me tell you, I would make a sucky guy cos I don't want to do that. What would I tell my mother? Or anyone?

'Hey, this is my girlfriend?'

What would you even do with a girlfriend? I don't freaking know. Okay, that's a total lie, I do totally know but what if I don't want to have sex with girls? I mean, I don't know if I do, I haven't really thought about it. I've not really thought much about other vaginas.

I would totally try it, but there aren't all that many things I wouldn't try once.

Actually, you know what, a lesbian relationship could actually be what I need, I should get on that. It'd be nice. Less games. More indirectness probably but less ego.

But I don't know, there are lesbians and then there are lesbians. I'm not into 'butch' girls. I like pretty girls.

I'm not saying high heels and red lipstick but just a girl that likes girls... that you can't just look at and be like... yep, defs a lesbian. Not someone who wears vests and ties and has short hair. Not someone who would want to wear a suit if we got married.

Not someone who has 'gay' listed in the first three adjectives that describe themselves.

I don't know. Just some thoughts.