So funnily enough, about 12 hours after I wrote my last post about being in love (gross) and all of that emotions stuff, bae got his act together and told me he loved me.
Excellent timing by him, cos it's good to be on the same page and not good to not be able to say feelings as I have them. Thinking 'I love you' and not being able to say it really killed my buzz so I was glad he decided it was time because once he said it, obviously it was open season and I said it back and now we say it all the time.
It's a funny, weird social construct. It's like, there exists an invisible barrier that prevents you from being honest about love when you feel it until you are sure it's mutual and then popping the barrier is a big deal but then immediately after that, you say it all the time for completely banal things. Not to say that it means nothing now but I got used to it very, very fast. It's still on my list of favourite things about being in a relationship though. I think the list is like 1) cuddling 2) hearing him say "this is my girlfriend' 3) hair/forehead/face kisses 4) i love you's and compliments 5) pet names.
I mean, there is defs more things that I like but those are the things in particular that get me feeling warm and fuzzy about relationships. Like, sex is excellent but it was excellent before we were dating too so it can't make the list.
I just like having a boyfriend. It really is just like the buddy system, it's just having a person specifically looking out for you, and doing things with you and making sure you are doing okay. I approve of all these things. It's not restricting, just nice. it's been three months now and it's very comfortable.
It is important to note though that having that going well is not to say that the rest of my life is hunky dory.
Things are really, really hard lately. I'm in a bit of a funk, a cute way of saying I feel a bit depressed and unmotivated and am having a hard time focusing on what I need to do and am instead watching a lot of Netflix because being alone with my thoughts isn't what I want. It's so strange, because I don't have a reason, I don't think people ever do but I don't like it when my brain does it's own thing. I'm just tired a lot, and exhausted and want to sleep for about 4 months. Not in a bad way, like I don't want to be doing the living thing, I just want to be under a snuggly blanket and breathe out for awhile and let the stress go.
Tbh I spend a lot of time at baes doing just that, only because I have all those responsibilities that don't go away, I end up just more stressed when I leave or reluctant to leave cos it's like exchanging calm for stress. Bae is very good at offering no-expectations time for me to just do my own thing.
okay thats all I feel like expressing
friends good, relationship good, mental health bad, uni eh plz dont ask, work ??? but overall 6.5/10 handling life
Excellent timing by him, cos it's good to be on the same page and not good to not be able to say feelings as I have them. Thinking 'I love you' and not being able to say it really killed my buzz so I was glad he decided it was time because once he said it, obviously it was open season and I said it back and now we say it all the time.
It's a funny, weird social construct. It's like, there exists an invisible barrier that prevents you from being honest about love when you feel it until you are sure it's mutual and then popping the barrier is a big deal but then immediately after that, you say it all the time for completely banal things. Not to say that it means nothing now but I got used to it very, very fast. It's still on my list of favourite things about being in a relationship though. I think the list is like 1) cuddling 2) hearing him say "this is my girlfriend' 3) hair/forehead/face kisses 4) i love you's and compliments 5) pet names.
I mean, there is defs more things that I like but those are the things in particular that get me feeling warm and fuzzy about relationships. Like, sex is excellent but it was excellent before we were dating too so it can't make the list.
I just like having a boyfriend. It really is just like the buddy system, it's just having a person specifically looking out for you, and doing things with you and making sure you are doing okay. I approve of all these things. It's not restricting, just nice. it's been three months now and it's very comfortable.
It is important to note though that having that going well is not to say that the rest of my life is hunky dory.
Things are really, really hard lately. I'm in a bit of a funk, a cute way of saying I feel a bit depressed and unmotivated and am having a hard time focusing on what I need to do and am instead watching a lot of Netflix because being alone with my thoughts isn't what I want. It's so strange, because I don't have a reason, I don't think people ever do but I don't like it when my brain does it's own thing. I'm just tired a lot, and exhausted and want to sleep for about 4 months. Not in a bad way, like I don't want to be doing the living thing, I just want to be under a snuggly blanket and breathe out for awhile and let the stress go.
Tbh I spend a lot of time at baes doing just that, only because I have all those responsibilities that don't go away, I end up just more stressed when I leave or reluctant to leave cos it's like exchanging calm for stress. Bae is very good at offering no-expectations time for me to just do my own thing.
okay thats all I feel like expressing
friends good, relationship good, mental health bad, uni eh plz dont ask, work ??? but overall 6.5/10 handling life
